The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
05/08/08
Oh! My goodness! Love this story. Especially love the ending. Great job!
Laury
05/09/08
I like this! The story is well done, flows nicely, great description of the adoptive father (all sticks and no stuff). Great ending. good job.
05/09/08
Shirley, when I read your work I almost envy your ability to put pictures into words.
As I read this article the words came in but I visualized the mop-topped children, the old town with no paint on the houses,and the boardwalk.
Keep writing God has plans for you. A. Carol
05/10/08
Incredible descriptions and characterizations throughout this piece. I was engaged to the end. This line jumped out and grabbed me:
Poppy thought the man looked a bit like the straw doll she had left at the orphanage. All sticks and no stuffing. His face was as sharp as her toy’s twig face and his eyes were cold and hard.
Well done!
05/12/08
Ahhh, this was so wonderful. I loved the descriptions and the characters...everything meshed so well. Awesome.
05/12/08
A very sweet and touching story, that reaches deep within, demonstrating love unparallel, few can understand what this means. What seems for some, undesirable and weak, to another may fit the exact need, a gift so precious and special, molded according to God's purpose and desire.
05/12/08
I loved the descriptions in this entry. The children were a delight - especially Poppy. Delightful story all round. Well done!
05/12/08
Oh my goodness, this is good! You are a master of descriptions and paint word pictures that I envy like crazy. Kudos!
05/12/08
Excellent job with the setting in both time and place. Every last detail felt absolutely authentic.
05/12/08
Your words took me back to that time in history, so well done. Loved the names of the girls. So happy they get to stay together. The image you wove for the new Ma was splendid.
05/12/08
What a sweet story. I could practically see and smell everything the kids did. The ending was perfect.
05/12/08
I loved the way you used the chicken leg as a thread to tie the story together.

Poppy ignored the people and dug into her dinner until a new smell… even better than fried chicken… caught her attention.

Delicious!
05/12/08
Superbly done, Shirley! You have a great ability to employ all my senses and feel what your characters are feeling.
05/13/08
This is writing that deserves to be in the Masters category. I loved your descriptions. They painted a vivid picture for me. It seems like each week your writing improves. Not that it was ever bad to begin with! :)
05/13/08
Being an adoptive mom myself....you had my attention from beginning to end. Love this story....you write really well. Great at showing, that which I lack so much.
05/14/08
Aww! That was the best ending ever! I'm so glad that they'll have a family and that they'll be together! I loved the couple that's also adopted them-now your title made sense, I didn't figure it out before, but it fits in just right here. Great job! ^_^
05/14/08
Excellent! Wonderful job with atmosphere and characterization and everything else. Wonderfully done, my friend.
05/14/08
Very moving, captivating, and satisfying. Well done.
05/15/08
Congratulations on your high placing! So happy for you!!!!
05/15/08
Congratulations, Shirley. This EC is so well-deserved, and was only a matter of time. :-)
05/15/08
Congratulations, Shirley! So proud of you, girlfriend!
05/15/08
Congratulations on your EC. This is a kleenex-grabber. Nice job with the topic.
05/16/08
Wow - what a beautiful, heart moving story. Loved the devotion of the big brother to keep them together, whatever the cost. And just when all seemed lost, their needs are met. So lovely to see the little girl loved in spite of her leg.