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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Mother (as in maternal parent) (04/24/08)

TITLE: "Mother Dear"
By Frank Salerni
04/24/08


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“Mother Dear”

The city traffic was ringing in my ears as brakes squealed, people yelled, and car exhaust blew thick. When the light turned green her hand took mine as we crossed the busy metropolitan street.

My eyes tried to focus on everything at once. My thoughts raced, as I would look up at one of the many tall buildings that reached for the clouds, or the giant bus that frightened me as it roared past us. I never forgot the small spotted dog begging for a crust of bread from the homeless man. I wondered if this might be the homeless mans last meal? I remembers a newsboy hollering, “Paper mister? Only ten cents.” I had never encountered such things before.

I was truly in awe at the magnitude of events bursting forth all at the same time.

It was hot and dry, and I remember the smell of popcorn filled the air. Every corner we passed seemed to possess it’s own unique huddle of people. We all waited for the streetlight to change from red to green. Then, we’d make a mad dash to cross in various directions. I never knew which direction we’d take.

This was my very first experience in the big city, and I can tell you it was a far cry from the small town of Weaver Town Oklahoma. We only had one blinking yellow light in the middle of the main road, (and the main road was only a half-mile long.)

My legs were getting tired, but I held on to that firm hand of security as we continued to walk among the crowds. A drunken man suddenly stumbled in front of me, and his unshaven face came close to mine as he sprawled out on the hard pavement. I could smell wine as a bottle broke within his pocket. I turned my head and watched as he sat up and started to cry over his loss.

We then turned down an alleyway and I remembered the sound of the city drifted away. Trashcans were overfilled and were spilling out on to the ground. The road between the buildings was damp and most humid. Cats made their homes in and among the debris.

It was then I glanced up to look into the person’s face that was holding my hand. I had always before got a reassuring smile. This time was different. This time was horrifying. I dug my heels into the ground and spoke in a trembling voice… “You’re not my mother!”

“That’s right… and you’re not my son.”

(To be continued…)


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This article has been read 385 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Sylvia Hensel05/01/08
WOW!!! A book in the making. Excellent. i can't wait to read more. Hope it will be soon.
Shirley McClay 05/01/08
Eesh.. how terrifying. My stomach hit the ground at the end. I will be sure to hold my children tight!!! Wow.
Beth LaBuff 05/01/08
I think you did a good job of describing what it's like for a small town girl seeing the city for the first time. (our town had one blinking red light :) ) Oh, you left me hanging… you've described every child and every mother's worst nightmare. (hopefully there's another mismatched mother and child nearby that could switch.)
Dolores Stohler05/04/08
Continued where? You left us hanging in fear for the small child, in the inner city no less. Come on, this deserves an ending.
c clemons05/04/08
Certainly descriptive, but not enough to tie the title in to even begin a story.
Phyllis Inniss 05/05/08
I hope I get to read he continuation of this riveting story. You left me wanting to learn more about this child and his mother.