The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
02/21/08
Oh, this is chilling. And depressing. I was totally surprised at the end after I re-read it to absorb all the details that led up to the twist. I could certainly see the tie-in with the proverb in the saddest kind of way. Lots of mistakes to go around in this family, not just the middle child's.
02/21/08
This story kept me interested throughout. Great job.
A most unusual story, that certainly does cover the topic.
02/23/08
Your narrator's voice is simply excellent, and I really, really like your writing style.

The text from the mother lost me a bit, though--just doesn't seem realistic that that's the way a mother would handle two really devastating events--in a text?

Taken as a whole, this piece is outstanding.
I loved all the twists and turns in this story. Well done.
02/25/08
Your MC certainly had life hit her head on. You've told this very well and left the reader with a lot to consider.
Ouch, I was waiting for the consequences, but that was a doosey! Oh the guilt we let ourselves fall into. Great writing!
02/27/08
Wow! Great story, but sad. Good writing!
Laury
This is so sad. It reminds me that we only have today to hold onto, there are no guarantees for tomorrow. What a guilt trip for the choice of silence for a day. This was well written. I felt sad this child had so much put on her in the first place.
Sure wasn't expecting that ending, but it all made sense because you made it very real to the reader. We are driven to do some crazy things because of the way we feel inside, or because of the way we allow others to make us feel...I think with this article, you just opened a window to allow others to see this. Great job!
02/27/08
I liked how you didn't make everything end happily ever after. While it's a sad ending, it's still a good lesson in having a good attitude and treating others well regardless of how they treat us. I'd like to do Dr. Phil job on the family...
You created a sad, sad story for the topic, and you did it very, very well. I felt so sorry for you MC with all her wrong choices.
02/27/08
Excelllent pace and energy. You hammered your message home and left no doubt. Great job. God bless.
The title really fit in to the story. Lots going on in this piece with an overall sad feeling. But this is very well written and very fitting to the topic. Great job.
Oh, this is so sad and one of the best I have read on this week's topic. Excellent!
02/28/08
Sara, this was excellent. I was so with her, the MC, and knew there would be some consequence to her actions, but had no idea it would be so horrific. Great piece.. as always... your well is never dry, but full of living creative waters!