The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
02/07/08
Clever and cute - I definitely didn't pick up on the ending until I got there.
02/07/08
Ha-you got me! Very clever and the ending packs a particularly powerful punch.
02/11/08
This is very clever. Your opening paragraphs are a little weak – too many long words that suggest the story is likely to be turgid – prompting the reader to move on. This would be a real pity because your style then changes markedly and the rest of the piece is intriguing and delicious.