The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
01/17/08
I really like your title and how it fit into your story! Very good staying on topic. Great job!
Laury
01/17/08
Good descriptions here and a wonderful message on contentment.
01/18/08
Great title, perfect application of the proverb, wonderful job with the narrator's voice.

A few tense switches here and there, but almost fitting with the casual narration here, so it's not a big deal.

What a wise big brother! I also liked your title.
01/22/08
I love your title, and it's a great story. You switched tenses in the story, but it didn't really interrupt the flow. I loved the picture you painted with this. Great read!
Excellent story telling and right on topic. I enjoyed the story ending with contentment.
01/22/08
The second paragraph is a little clumsy. Otherwise it is a good story and I like the way you summarised it at the end.
01/22/08
Great illustration of the topic, and a cute story with an an awesome message.
01/23/08
I had to read this-the title is alluring! The story is lovely, too. I like the manner in which the MC makes her decision that having things is not the only way to be blessed. Love the voice of the MC.
01/23/08
Very realistic dialogue and the message is perfectly on topic. Excellent writing!
01/23/08
I love your title! The story was as delightful as your title promised! Great take on the topic!
An inventory of our blessings, can anything bring us more down to earth and let us know how thankful we should be. The dialogue, thoughts expressed and interaction between the characters all seemed genuine and authentic. Nicely done !
I enjoyed your story and how the MC realized how much she really did have without the "stuff".
This is a great story. It fits the topic by showing appreciation for the truly good things vs. material things wished for. Great story-telling.
01/23/08
This is a very realistic example of the proverb. The dialogue is very believable. Great job with the topic.
01/23/08
Good one!! Good way to contrast the two sides and showing, not just telling (Al lowering the window because of the yelling). Great job!
01/24/08
I really liked this--the analogies, the short sentences, the wistfulness--it was all good.
01/26/08
I was definitely engaged in this - great descriptions. You put me right there. Very nice job, Sara.