The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
12/14/07
You have taken a great scripture from the Bible to depict your thoughts. Nicely done...and Happy Holidays!
Your ideas are excellent and your writing is good. I believe, however, that it would have made a better story if you had written in the present tense and drawn your reader in with a little dialogue so we could comfortably get to know your character. Good job, though. Keep writing.
12/15/07
I really like the poem especially. Would have loved a bit more in the prose part - maybe some "showing" rather than "telling" would liven this up a bit. (Feel free to PM me if you want clarification on what I'm talking about) Excellent message.
12/16/07
Thinking outside the box is often frowned upon in the church. Too bad; many an idealist has gone on to find acceptance and the church flourishes under new leadership sometimes. Good points.
12/17/07
Oh, I hope Susan finds a church that will be happy for her gifts! She can come to mine--we need her!
12/19/07
There is so much here that many of us can relate to. I almost wished you could have been able to submit twice: once as a poem, and then as Susan's personal story. I agree—a little polishing and you have a great piece.