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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Sunday School (10/25/07)

TITLE: The Sunday School Clique
By Sara Harricharan
10/31/07


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Danae readjusted the straps of her new, pastel Easter dress. “Which one of you is going to walk with Becky into Sunday school?”

Her triplet, Lana, rolled her eyes. “Don’t tell me, if you walk with her she’s going to wash you out with all that black.” She pouted in the mirror, glossing her lips a bright cherry color. “You’re so blonde.”

“Hey!” Shawna scowled. “I’m blonde too-just because you’re the only brunette, doesn’t mean you have to-”

“Girls.” Danae’s sing-song voice raised a few decibels over the squabble. “Aren’t you going to say hi to Becky?”

Mouths shut as eyes were redirected towards the doorway. Their guest hovered uncertainly, shrouded in her traditional pillar of black. “It’s Becca, not Becky.” She corrected. “Your folks want me to tell you that everyone’s waiting.”

“Not yet!” Shawna squeaked. “I didn’t even get to mascara.”

“Then do it in the van, sister dear.” Danae’s smile grew wide and fake, her words syrupy sweet. “Becky-oops-Becca, be a darling, run and tell everyone we’ll be right there. Pretty please?”

Brown eyes narrowed, something flickering in her eyes before Becca shuffled away.

“What she was wearing?” Lana gasped. She tucked a leopard print headband behind her ears. “Black dress, shoes, coat and gloves.”

“Velvet gloves.” Danae corrected. “Never mind the outfit.” She shoved her feet into matching shoes. “That coat alone will have everyone in a tizzy because we brought a ‘fashion don’t’.” She dabbed a dot of perfume on each wrist. “We have enough to do with everyone looking at us for their next fashion plate.”

“It’s Sunday school.” Shawna snapped. “For goodness sakes’ this should be the one place we don’t have to worry about how we look.” She reached for her eyelash curler.

“Oh really?” Danae grabbed her wrist. “I said do that in the van. We gotta go, or we’re going to lose our perfect attendance record. You know how slow dad drives!”

Lana sniffed. “Last one down has to sit in the middle.” She bolted for the door with her sisters right behind.
Shawna who had to sit in the middle. Lana solved the future-elbow problem by sitting in the middle herself and giving Shawna a side to curl her eyelashes.

Becca seemed to be studying them from behind her high-collared coat. “You sure go to a lot of trouble for church.”

“It’s a little more than church, Becca.” Mom turned around in her seat. “Haven’t the girls explained?”

Becca shrugged. “They’ve been busy.”
The triplets avoided the gaze that swept their way.

“We’re here!” Lana announced. Within minutes the family was standing inside the church foyer, as directions were given out, especially for the triplets to walk with their guest to Sunday school.

“Sure, no problem.” Danae pulled out her happy smile and tilted her head a bit to look natural.

The moment the parents left, the triplets turned as one. Each opened her mouth and the right to speak passed to Danae. “Look, don’t embarrass us, okay? This is our church and just so you know, black is so grade school.”

Becca blinked. “Um, okay?” She followed until they reached the door.

“Lana, you go first, Shawna and I’ll go.” Danae frowned at Becca. “You wait one minute and then come. We’ll explain from there.”

“From where?” Becca’s brows knitted themselves together. “I thought people who went to Sunday school were nice.” She squinted. “You guys are like a clique or something.”

“We are the clique. Now just pay attention would y-”

“Morning Lana, Danae, Shawna.” Ken Mason’s cheerful face appeared in the doorway. “Come on in-hello there, are you with them?”

“This is Becky.” Danae blushed furiously. “She’s uh, visiting. So how are you-”

“Visiting? Welcome to Sunday school, Becky.” Ken’s smile lit up several more degrees.

“Becca, not Becky.” There was another toss of her head. “Thanks.”

“Oops, my bad.” He held the door open. “Come on in, Becca. Is that short for Rebecca?”

“Yeah. After my mom actually. You’re…?”

“Ken Mason. My dad teaches this class. He’ll be thrilled to have a visitor. Ever been to Sunday school?”

Becca smiled, faintly. “Used to go back home. It was usually fun.”

“Usually?” Ken beckoned towards the front. “What happened?”

The triplets appeared at her side, each of them beginning to talk and smile with fluttering eyelashes.

She sighed. Softly. “I’ll tell you another time.” Her lips moved, but no sound came out as she pulled away and headed for a seat in the back.

Copyright 2007


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This article has been read 1288 times
Member Comments
Member Date
julie wood11/01/07
I really enjoyed this story! The characters come alive through both description and dialogue--I could just see and hear those obnoxious triplets.

To make the clique a family of triplets adds an unusual, unexpected twist--very interesting. I wonder if the author knows some triplets like these(?). I've run into Sunday school cliques before, but never in triplet form! Could identify with the "outsider" guest.

Great title, too--it drew me in right away!
Allison Egley 11/03/07
I liked this, with the triplet idea. Very creative.

A few questions felt unanswered... One is what did the triplets need to explain to Becca?

Very good over all. I enjoyed it, and could hear the conversation perfectly.
LaNaye Perkins11/05/07
Your story kept my attention from the title to the last sentence. Keep writing!
Joy Faire Stewart11/05/07
All too often there are cliques and your dialogue was on target. Good job.
Joanne Sher 11/06/07
You definitely have a gift for getting into the mind of the teen, my friend. This felt so authentic. Excellent characterization.
LauraLee Shaw11/06/07
Your title made me want to "click" on it. Seriously, though, this is a VERY good story....I like it that you made it about something with which many can associate. Nicely done.
Loren T. Lowery11/08/07
The conversational tone and writing reminded me of "Little Women" Great job and the story itself was very believable and a quick read that left at least this reader, what's up with Becca?
Very intriguing.