The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
11/01/07
I really enjoyed this story! Beautifully vivid images--I could just see the grimy little girl with the peanut butter on her standing longingly outside the church, and also feel with her.

The word "watched" is used in both first sentences. Would be good to use another word in the second sentence.

Wonderful ending with Emily all grown up, inside the church, and giving of her dream to other children.

The title also drew me in--a personal name always sparks my curiosity. Great job!
11/01/07
Lovely - A very heartwarming piece.
Very sweet story and love the last paragraph.
11/02/07
This brought tears to my eyes. Very poignant; very well done.
This was well thought out and the ending was great!
11/06/07
Lovely story.
***CONGRATULATIONS!***
The last line about the empty curb gave me chill bumps. Great job. Excellent writing!
11/08/07
Congratulations on your much deserved EC. I love this. Very touching. Nice job.
Great story! Congratulations on your EC.
11/08/07
Your description of Emily is wonderful. The last line is perfect! Great story.