LISTEN UP, KIDS, THE SUPERINTENDENT’S HERE!
Dear children of the Sunday School, I have some things to say.
As you all know, next Saturday is our big Picnic Day.
We’ll meet as usual in Jones Park from 2 p.m. ‘til 8.
If you’ll behave just as you should, our picnic will be great.
Last year we had our usual fun but things got out of hand
When some of you climbed up the Falls; ‘twas not what we had planned.
Let’s make this picnic better with good mem’ries that will last.
Could we have just one picnic without someone in a cast?
The roof on the pavilion was not meant to be a slide.
When Joe slid off and knocked Pam down, she was so scared she cried.
The swings can only go so high, so do I have to beg
You not to try going o’er the top? You’ll only break your leg!
Will you this time not eat so much, then climb aboard that ride
That spins you ‘round ‘til you get sick and lose more than your pride?
Some folks still eating dinner would choose not to have to see
You losing all those deviled eggs; I’m sure you will agree.
I do not mean to sound so harsh, but when I start the games
Would you boys mind your manners and stop calling girls those names?
And girls, please act like ladies and don’t throw your food at boys.
We all know boys are weird and known for making lots of noise.
And could you please, just this one time, not throw kids in the creek.
Nothing scares us grownups more than hearing some kid shriek.
Be careful in the water when you fetch the soccer ball.
Why we’ve not had a drowning is a mystery to us all.
Please don’t give little Dickie more fat worms for him to eat.
Last year he ate too many and turned whiter than a sheet.
His mom and dad have warned us that you’d better all behave
Or we’ll be hit with lawsuits bigger than a tidal wave.
The outhouse is not there for you to push it in the creek.
I’m sure you’ve got it figured out and have a new technique.
But bigger boys than you have tried to do it and have failed.
Each one was caught and punished and a few of them were jailed.
So if you all will promise me that you will do your best
To make this picnic safer and more fun than all the rest,
Please raise your hand to signify that you are on my side.
Not even one? Well, Lord, take note how very hard I tried.
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