The Official Writing Challenge
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Okay, this is really loaded with good things; however, a number of tense shifts and a second person entry bother the readership. I really liked the plot and intensity. Good stuff overall.
Intense and engrossing - hope you will expand on this. I was certainly engaged.
Wow! What an imagination you have. I couldn't wait to read the next line till I got to the end. You did a splendid job with this story. I'd like to hear more, and I'm not even a sci-fi fan.
I'm not much of a sci-fi person either, but your story was very appealing to me. The notes at the end helped me understand some of the points in the story that I didn't quite grasp. Thanks for adding those. If this were longer, I think I'd be hooked on reading the whole thing!
What a way to suck me in--pull at a mothers heart strings. Well done and ver well written.
Wow! I LOVE the sci-fi aspect of this. I would definitely LOVE to read more. You did a great job of writing and kept me entranced throughout! Awesome!
Wow! Very creative sci-fi story. The many different aspects to the story are perfect. This would make a great novel. Good job.
Oh Wow! The intense voice matches the intense situation. Good job!
This is certainly a novel in the making. Although the storyline is a little hard to grasp, it still held this reader spellbound with the intensity. It deserves more than the 750 word limit. Adrenalin-charged. Good work!
You go girl!!! Wowzy! I didn't even read this until now! My, my, this was tasty!!!