The Official Writing Challenge
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08/09/07
The intensity is, well, intense. :) You got this emotion down PAT. Dialog seems right on, too. Excellent.
08/09/07
This was well written. It's just a pity about the 750 word limit, as I would love to have seen the outcome of this, and if justice was done. It seemed to be developing into a good story by the end, but I just wanted that satisfying conclusion!
08/10/07
Sequel, please! And include the recipe for Chewy Double Chocolate Fudge Delights. My mouth was watering so much, I could hardly concentrate on the story. That was, until I got to the reason that precipitated all the anger — the paper the teacher judged was not your MC's work — suffered that myself, so I identified with the emotions. Good work. I'll wait with eager anticipation for the conclusion.
Okay, you've done it. You've made me angry! I felt all the emotions. Excellent writing. Great dialogue.
08/11/07
The total frustration of unfair treatment is well told here. I understand this one well. My son was given a writing assignment. Tell a story about the questionable death of a real or a fictional character and provide a new ending. Dan's classmates wrote about Jimmy Hoffa. Dan wrote about Humpty Dumpty. His teacher wrote a note next to the "F" that appeared at the top of his paper. The note read "I expect you to take my assignments seriously." I thought he deserved an "A" for subject selection alone. She gave him a chance to rewrite it for an improved grade. He held his ground and took his "F" without so much as a whimper. My wife and I were proud of him for his stand. You stired this memory, your story has the ring of reality. Good job.
Ok, I'm angry, but I'm hungry, too. You described the anger and the cookies too perfectly! This is really an exceptionally well written story.
08/12/07
Wow, excellent!
08/13/07
You were very real with the emotions here--teens have such a keen sense of injustice.

I will say, though, that I believe the vast majority of teachers would just google key phrases in the paper, and would not accuse a student of plagiarism without proof.

Love the title, and I'm a firm believer that chocolate is a great soother-over! I want that recipe!

Yep! Chocolate always helps, no matter what the problem. I was angry for both of them, but I smiled when Mom reached for the cookie at the end. Well done.
08/14/07
You really tapped into the emotions parents feel when someone hurts their child. I'd have wanted to talk to the teacher, also! Good story!
08/14/07
You showed the emotions of both characters well. The ending was so real. Great writing. I hope you finish the story some day and the teacher finds out how wrong and terrible he was. : )
You captured a teens emotion perfectly as well as mom's. I felt I was right there in the scene...love the details. Excellent writing.
Right on point with the characterization of the teen and the feeling's of the parent. I liked the open dialogue between them as well as it showed a trusting relationship. I, too, think I would have called the teacher any way.
I said ( to myself and my computer) "All right, Cat!" at the end. The ending was just so good! so subtle and the picture of mom taking another cookie was just wonderful! I loved the line about the Delight fading from her eyes! You done good, girlfriend.
08/15/07
Wonderful job of capturing the mixed emotions of an outraged teenager and her peer pressured reluctance. Not to mention the anger swelling up in the mother like a hen protecting her chick.

Good job!
08/15/07
Can I have a cookie? This hit home, hard. I got so angry at the teacher myself! Great job! Well written.
08/15/07
Sheesh! I'll call the teacher for her!! You did an excellent job of conveying the anger and frustration of both of them--especially Casie. Super job, Cat!! :-) Hugs!
Great writing with emotion depicted in dialogue. This certainly is a great piece filled with "sweet" home-made comfort and a painful circumstance.
Many of us can relate to this having faced this type of pain either personally or when our own children have been treated unfairly.
Keep up the great writing-I could smell the fudge delights in the oven and wished I could have snuck a tasty morsel myself.:0)
Congratulations, great job & well deserved!
08/16/07
Wow, great story. Congrats!
08/16/07
Woo hoo, Cat! Great story and congratulations on placing 3rd!
Way to go, Catrina - this was a pleasure to read and once again congratulations on your placement! Loren
08/16/07
Cat, are you going to give us the recipe? On the boards, maybe? Congrats!
08/17/07
Wow. I'm glad I got a chance to read this! Absolutely loved it, I am still mad at that teacher for not recognizing some pretty awesome writing! ^_^ Very well written, the dialouge, the chocolate bit-right on. Congrats on your win!
Good shot on anger. The writing was good. Congrats on the win.
09/25/07
Awesome article - you are a talented writer and kept my attention throughout.
I also could not believe the story content - this exact thing happened to me in Year 10. We got a new art teacher and I was the only student to take her seriously and I spent hours studying the text books. But when I did so much better than anyone else in the class in the mid-year exam the teacher accused me of cheating (plagiarism) and failed me. I got so stressed that I fell ill and could not face school. My mother rang the Year Ten Co-ordinator, who not only was a Christian but knew that I was one too. Later that day the art teacher was at my front door. She apologised and gave me an 'A' for the exam. The art teacher and I became really good friends following this incident.
09/09/08
Wow, Cat...this was excellent! Loved it!