The Official Writing Challenge
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08/09/07
Yes!! Sorry, I got a sudden urge to jump for joy. Marvelous story, well told. A few minor typos, but they don't detract. One person can, indeed, make a huge difference. :)
08/09/07
Neat story with a "you are there" feel to it. I love reading history through the eyes of real people who had the experience. You gave us enough of interesting characters, drama, outrage, to recommend expanding this into, say, a tv movie (with an expanded word limit :)
08/09/07
Loved it! It's brave folks like you who have made such positive differences in the way our Constitution is interpreted and upheld. I remember the 60s and the pain of having friends of color treated badly. There is nothing wrong with RIGHTEOUS INDIGNATION...and that's what you had. Bravo!
08/10/07
Oh for more people who will stand up for what it right, no matter what! That's righteous indignation.
What a brave person you were in such turbulent times! Your story reminds us so well of how important it is to take a stand for what is right.
Wow! A brillant story. We are all God's children. I loved this one!
08/13/07
Interesting and good story, oh, do I remember those terrible days. A quick point. Try writing without so many speech tags ("he said," etc.).
Way to go! There is no place in society for prejudice of any kind. I like the easy way you have in telling a story.
08/14/07
Lots of good stuff here--the confrontation with the registrar is particularly well done.

Consider opening with the 4th paragraph (setting the scene), or even eliminating it altogether and establishing the setting (which is well-known to most readers) by showing us--the characters' clothing, the movie they are watching, etc.
The ending, too, seems like more of a summary.

Wonderful main character--her courage is inspiring.
Love this story. Marvelous message. There is a lot of drama and character packed into this short piece. It may have been placed in the 60s, but still very relevant. Well written! Good job!
08/14/07
You certainly set the scene and gave us some great detail. Love the title. I was engrossed throughout.
What an enthralling story! I was glued to every word! I feel like I really know all three of these memorable characters. Love the MC's fiesty edge! Super job of story-telling!
A very well written story with great impact. It hits hard at racial issues. A very good outcome in the end. Loved it, good work.
08/23/07
I really enjoyed reading this story! The ring of true history and the righting of wrongs made it a privilege to read. Love your title, too.