The Official Writing Challenge
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I'm a little lost in this, but I sense a deep message here.
Whether I'm right or not, I was so moved by the symbolism here and it read to me like an alternate Song of Solomon--a journey of love and faith with the Lord. This was so visual. My only wonder is the last stanza. I almost liked the second to the last better to end on, but still, it doesn't take away. What a gem!
This was very touching. Glad you shared.
I liked the imagery and it flowed very smoothly. I would go back over all the verses and possibly let go of the ones that don't add to the poem. It is a strong poem , but could be stronger if you tightened it up. the meaning is deep and I liked the deepness!
The rhyme may be a little forced, often happens in short verses. An intesting statement, not sure where to take it.
Thanks for posting.
You have great metaphors here. The last stanza is wonderful--sums up the whole purpose of your poem, and of the difficult places of life as well.
So many things in life we don't understand when we look with out small human eyes. I love these lines: "Lift me up on clouds of music/Wrap me in your sweet melody/Write the lyrics on my heart..."
I sense a lot of out-pouring of honest emotions in this piece and although at times got lost in some of the metaphores, I was still able to "see" the meaning behind the words.
Thought provoking and well delivered.
Beautiful imagery.
I certainly agree with comments posted here already. Loved the imagery and could feel the emotion of the piece. Flowed well...even with the duplicate verse :)