The Official Writing Challenge
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I'd have trouble keeping up with that couple! I liked their anniversary presents to each other and the narration. A sweet story!
There are a couple of places where I was left hanging. For example, was she hitting the bag because the captain called or not. I wasn't sure to what you were referring after the comment about being predictable. But aside from a bit of disjointedness, I could picture the relationship and the emotions, at least on the part of the "hero." It's interesting to me that the hero-worship is the reverse of what we normally picture - this time it's boy towards girl. A different take on the theme. Nice job.
I like the pacing of this--the short, choppy paragraphs carry energy, just like your protagonist. And I REALLY like your twist on the familiar genre. Nice job, don't sell yourself short.
Sweet, with an unexpected twist. I too wanted to know if the captain called... Blessings, Cheri
This seemed a real-life walk through a married couple's mind after eight years together. Comfortable and safe with the knowledge that love still abides between them.
What an interesting couple! This story had such a realistic "feel" to it, and I very much enjoyed reading it. You did a good job writing and telling the story from a masculine perspective. :)
What an interesting glimpse into this romantic partnership! I too felt I was there from the first until the end. Great job!
Oh, I loved this. The tempo was superb, the writing above top-notch and the story masterful. Man, you are good. God bless.
Very good! Romance is not flowers and candlelight dinners for everyone. Each couple speaks their own language and lives their own dance.