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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: Shopping (03/01/07)
Shopaholic


Comfy shoes and cash in hand
I headed toward the mall,
Clothing, house wares, jewelry too
I plan to buy it all.

Sale signs, red tags, special deals,
All make me salivate,
Bargains, markdowns, bonus buys -
I can no longer wait!

Once inside, I plan to search
Through each and every store,
You can bet I’ve got a plan
To walk through every door.

“Clear a path…I’m on a hunt”
To find the greatest deals,
Sweaters, jackets, dresses too
On rounders with big wheels.

Blenders, baubles, lingerie
They’re sure to catch my eye,
I am hooked on shopping sprees –
A fact I can’t deny.

Lines that wrap around the bend
And hordes of people too,
I don’t care what I will face –
“Watch out…I’m coming through!”

Shopping carts filled to the brim
Lurk near each aisle I pass,
Dangerous enough with wheels
Thank God they have no gas!

“Hey, watch it pal…my ankle’s hurt
I have the right of way,”
“Quiet lady, don’t complain
You have too much to say!”

Hurried people, rudeness too
Why am I such a fool?
Surely it’s the cash I save
That makes me want to drool.

“This is mine, now get away
Go shop way over there!”
“No!…it’s mine, I found it first
Now don’t you start to swear!”

Checkout lines are way too long
I chose the shortest one,
Blistered feet and frazzled nerves
Appear before I’m done.

Clothing, house wares, jewelry too
I found it in a flash,
No more bargains – no more sales
‘Cause I’m all out of cash!

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This article has been read 1640 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Betty Castleberry
03/10/07
What a fun poem. It flows so well, too. Thumbs up!
Leigh MacKelvey
03/10/07
It WAS fun! Good job!
Jacquelyn Horne
03/13/07
Cute!
Jan Ackerson
03/13/07
I grinned all through this delightful poem. I liked the "clear a path" bit, and the "right of way" bit, and...well, the whole poem is utterly charming.
Rita Garcia
03/13/07
Thanks for the smiles! I love this realistic look of shopping! Great job!
Cassie Memmer
03/13/07
Cute! Is this a confession? LOL! This was fun and I enjoyed it!
Joanne Sher 
03/13/07
Loads of fun! I've seen these women before - from a distance, of course. ;) Great meter - frantic, like this woman.
TJ Nickel
03/13/07
Loved it as is, it was fun. If you ever get the desire to re-write this, I wonder how it would sound being free verse - it might pull the "-holic" out more.
Great poem, perfect for the topic.
Sara Harricharan
03/13/07
Very fun to read! Reminds me of a few friends of mine who faithfully follow this routine every shopping trip! The third verse was slightly awkward when reading it aloud, it could be just me though. I very much enjoyed reading something this creative. ^_^
Verna Cole Mitchell 
03/13/07
This is a delightful poem, excellently written. The ending is perfect.
william price
03/14/07
I needed a chuckle this morning. But also made me a little worried. Wife said she was going shopping t-day:(.
Great job on the mechanics, it flowed well with near perfect metre; nothing to get in the way of enjoying this poem. I'm so glad you are still rhyming. You're one of the best poets here. God bless.
Tiffany Secula
03/14/07
Super Cute!!! I loved this poem!!
Tiffanie Chezum
03/14/07
Dr. Seuss would be proud ;-)

Really, a fun poem to read. Great job.
Jen Davis
03/14/07
Lots of fun with great humor throughout. “Thank God they have no gas!” The title was perfect, and the ending was really cute, too!
Marilee Alvey
03/14/07
This is a very lighthearted romp through the aisles! You didn't touch my favorite find: THE LAST ONE. My husband always tells people that, if I hear something is the last one, I have to buy it. That's true. What's that about?

You do a great job writing poetry, Joanne. Another fantastic read!
LaNaye Perkins
03/15/07
Such a delightful poem to read. I loved it!
Sandra Petersen
03/15/07
JoJo, don't regret your rhyme...
Oh, so well you do it!
You kept your meter right in time.
The topic? Stuck right to it!

This was such a funny work
And gave delight to all;
I hope you get the highest mark
For your treatise on the mall.

Seriously, I enjoyed this poem even though I am not a shopaholic.


Julie Arduini
03/15/07
You tapped into a lot of folks out there who feel the same way and then go out and do it all over again!

You make this look so easy, a tremendous job!