The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
02/02/07
Your last paragraph is very moving, with the introductions in heaven. I suspect that this is a true story--you've written it very convincingly.

Be careful of switching from past to present tense and back--a bit disorienting for the reader.

This is written in a tender voice, very sweet.
02/02/07
LOVED that last line! That was the best part...thanks!
02/03/07
Very moving and has a realistic feel (is it real?). I had to wipe tears from my eyes - you said a lot in a few words.
Touching story. Enjoyed the ending.
Nice job! Kudos! I like your work.