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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Cooking or Baking (01/04/07)

TITLE: 911 -- Don't Cook Without It
By Allison Egley


Cooking and baking are not my forte. I consider it a good day when I make my kids' peanut butter sandwiches without cutting my finger. My kids are always eating dinner at their friends' houses. When their friends ask if they can stay for dinner, they beg me to order pizza. Once, Danny's friend insisted he didn't want pizza, so I made dinner that night. He hasn't set foot in the house again.

I've become great friends with the local fire fighters. In fact, this past Christmas, I decided to save them the hassle and just invited them over for dinner. The numbers nine and one are worn off on my phones; and my oldest child could dial 911 before she could talk. The dispatchers soon knew her by her babbling. You would think by now I'd have learned that I should stay as far away from the kitchen as possible. In fact, I should probably eat dinner in my bedroom. But you see, I have this attitude that I inherited from my mother. Bless her heart. She taught me to persevere. I always tell myself that I can only get better.

I still remember one of my first major disasters in the kitchen. I was single and living in a high-rise apartment. I decided to make some chocolate chip cookies. Before I knew it, my apartment was filled with smoke and I could hear the fire alarm ringing. It was one of those alarms that automatically notified the fire station. I grabbed the cookies, thinking I could keep them from tracking the source to my apartment. I realized too late that actually holding the burnt cookies was far more incriminating. And I didn't have time to throw them out either. Oh well.

Once outside, I decided to share my bounty with my apartment mates. "Cookies, cookies," I yelled. "Straight from the oven!" Then I looked down and realized I could be sued for false advertising. "Ash cakes, get your ash cakes here!"

When the firefighters left the apartment, I decided I'd try to win the chief over. "Would you like to buy a cookie? Only five cents," I pleaded. As I handed him a cookie, He handed me a $250 fine. Apparently causing a false alarm in an apartment building is a misdemeanor. Who knew? After that incident, all the kids in the apartment started calling me "The Ash Lady." I think I prefer my given name.

Through my many adventures in the kitchen, I have learned that God has not blessed me with the gift of hospitality. After all, I'm pretty sure the word does not originate from where guests spend the night after eating dinner. It says in Ephesians that the Lord has blessed us with every spiritual blessing. Cooking must not be one of them. He's also teaching me that one person cannot do everything, and that a woman's place is not always in the kitchen. I think I'll let my husband start taking over the cooking and baking. But before I do that, I'd like to take one last crack at this whole baking deal. Does anybody want a cookie?


Author's note:
Scripture taken from Ephesians 1:3

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This article has been read 1402 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Marilyn Schnepp 01/11/07
Loved the humor in this piece. Due to my having a short attention span, you can chalk up an "A" for your effort. You kept my interest throughout. Nice job.
Edy T Johnson 01/11/07
ha ha ha ha! You made me chuckle outloud more than once with this clever story. I love it.
Edy T Johnson 01/11/07
ha ha ha ha! You made me chuckle outloud more than once with this clever story. I love it.
Edy T Johnson 01/11/07
ha ha ha ha! You made me chuckle outloud more than once with this clever story. I love it.
Edy T Johnson 01/11/07
Oooops! My computer locked up on me and this is what happened (sorry :@)
Jan Ackerson 01/11/07
Oh boy, can I ever relate to this one! Great voice, lots of fun to read.
Rhonda Clark01/11/07
I know people like that. Very cute. Great devotional.
Betty Castleberry01/15/07
This is cute. Thanks for the smile.
Joanney Uthe01/15/07
Loved it. I think we all have areas where we feel our skills are inadequate. You describe that feeling well.
Joanne Sher 01/16/07
I enjoyed this - I love the lightness of it - and especially your ending.
Shari Armstrong 01/16/07
Adorable!!! Loved it!
Trina Courtenay01/16/07
You cracked me up with this one! Good job.
Leigh MacKelvey01/16/07
I loved the dry humor in this one! Great writing.
Caitlynn Lowe01/16/07
Fun to read, and you kept my attention through the whole thing. :)
Jan Ackerson 02/27/07
Allison, I've just re-discovered this charming story. I'm going to feature it on the Front Page Showcase for the week of March 5. Look for it on the FaithWriters home page!
Janice Fitzpatrick03/06/07
Great story! Was scanning through the many writings and saw this and had to read it. Title drew you in and as I began reading through my laughter I had plod on. Your story lifted my heart and surely this will minister to many hon as it lifts the heart and offers encouragement like a hostess with a plate of cookies,grin, just not burned ones.hehe.
Rita Garcia03/06/07
Love it! Wonderful humor, with a great message woven in! Thanks for brightening my day!
Sara Harricharan 03/08/07
LOL! This is so funny. I saw it as the featured article today and thought I'd read it since it sounded funny. Very fun to read, I like the descriptions and the piece with "The Ash lady" Lol. My cookies don't come out right either...though there were still somewhat edible. ^_^