The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 1334 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
11/17/06
I like this journey, especially because it caught me out - I thought I knew where it was going but I was wrong! One little point stretched my sceptical credibility - I think I'd have believed Jess's feelings of guilt a bit more if they'd been chatting for a few minutes; as it was, I felt her sister would hardly have got to the sea, let alone had time to drown without being noticed. Otherwise, great piece.
Your title made me read your entry and it lived up to it's name. Awesome entry.
11/20/06
Super title--I've always liked that word. Great story, too--although I would have ended it two sentences sooner. Otherwise, a fresh and realistic youthful drama.
11/20/06
I liked how you introduced the story and then flashed back to the event where everything changed. You did a good job of pulling the reader into the story. This piece was also written with great emotion. Good job!
The conversation between the two girls when they first reach the beach and discover that "he's HERE!" is very believable. Sounds just like something teen age girls would say.
I enjoyed your piece. Nicely done.
11/21/06
Oh this was good. I agree just a bit with the point that there should have been more time passing between the conversation and her sister needing help, but I realize that's hard to do in the given word count. I especially loved how this near tragedy ended up being such a triumph.
11/22/06
Smooth, easy writing, entertaining and sweet. Loved the Christian lifeguard - what a catch! I hoped for a footnote that Darrin and Jess got together. :-) (I'm a hopeless romantic) Nicely done.
11/22/06
A good story and it was very believable. I'm glad that the ending was positive. Thanks so much for sharing this
11/22/06
Great job, a light read, with a clear message. I loved the interaction between the Characters, especially Jess and Darrin. :)
Good message, and I liked the details.
11/24/06
A very well written entry. Not what I expected. Glad it wasn't a romance. yeggy