The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 1290 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
11/11/06
You did a great job of describing exactly what everyone was going through. I would have loved a bit more information on the goings-on at the hospital - it just seemed a bit lacking there. This was definitely a very compelling read, though!
Wow! I genuinely felt the emotion as you revealed each phase of the story. Great job, and wonderful lesson in all of it.
11/13/06
Very well written ... I was feeling your apprehension to seek medical help, especially since I've witnessed the hospitals and clinics in Africa. Wow! What a testimony to God's protection. I hope you're collecting these stories for a book on missions or a missions training manual! Excellent work! :)
11/13/06
Wow! The uncertainty of medical care would be overwhemingly scary in situations like this. I felt the urgency to try and work it out on your own too! Good job of taking us with you!

I wish you had more word count to place us there in Africa with descriptions of the surrounding landscapes along the way, the whether, the people etc.

A story worth embellishing on and submitting.
11/13/06
I was right there with you. Your descriptions had me feeling what your character felt and fearing what she feared. You can't do any better than that. Great piece.
11/13/06
Great title, and very effective buildup of suspense. Good job!
11/15/06
A wonderfully suspenseful story. Very well written. I enjoyed reading this and was glad for the happy ending. Thanks for sharing it!
Wonderful story, great description of feelings and emotions. Well done.
This well written piece makes one realize what we in the states take for granted. The story captured and held my attention.
11/15/06
A great choice for the topic. The ending could do with a little TLC to pack the same punch as the rest of the story. Very well written!