The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
08/19/06
I loved the story. The suspense was great. Like so many of these stories I am sure a longer version would be so powerful. I liked the tenor of this piece.
This story hold's promise. It's intriguing & imaginative. But we never find out who "the Finder" is looking for or why. And he never achieves his goal. A good idea but needs work.
08/21/06
Interesting story, but more details are needed. Liked the main characters heart, but didn't understand his passion. A little work and this could a great story. I would have started with the phrase "“I fear nothing,” he shouted to the trees. “ I am Brisko, the Finder.”
I agree with the others, that this story is THIS close to being extremely compelling. It's already well written and effective. I think the word count held you back in this case.

You have great imagination and I love your ideas ("the finder", etc). To me it seems a bit like a J.R.R. Tolkien story and obviously that's a great thing to be.

I would expand this and see where this character and story takes you. Then share it. Go for it.