The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
06/09/06
This was really different, and I like the verse, but I think it throws off the flow of the piece. I'd put the verse either at the beginning or the end. But, some great images.
I think this is very beautiful and read each line slowly, letting it settle in... some of these lines are typically "positive" things and some, "negative"? Perhaps the verse could've separated them? Beautiful as is, and quite thought provoking.Thankyou for your work!