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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Hope (05/04/06)
Hope
Evidence of
Things unseen
Evidence, proof of
The known, not provable

Air
Unseen, felt
Breathe in, breathe out
Wind blowing
Hair, leaves
Hope abounds of air


Husband
Unconvinced of God
Sees things
Without explanation
Evidence of
God
He chooses
Not to think about

Prayer
Within the Grace
Within His will
Powerful
Beyond imagination
Spirit in action
Miracles become visible

Love
In action
Unconditional
Strong in deed
Foundation of all
Relations grow

Family
Not just by
Blood
By spirit
Never alone
Never stranded
Never
Left in need

Joy
Not in part
But in full
In sorrow
Trials, pain
In each other
Joy in God
Not fleeting or passing

Baffle
The unbelieving
No understanding
He sees the hope
Feels the hope
Cannot connect
These things to
God.

Japan
As a poor child in the West
Never went there
Did not know anyone who did
Photographs
All the evidence
Thought it was Santa or unicorns
Not real
No hope for Japan then
Maturity changed that

Change and miracles
God has provided much of both
Lots of evidence
Lots of hope
That my husband sees
And feels evidence of God
Is Hope
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Member Comments
Member
Date
dub W
05/12/06
Pretty nice open free verse. You might think of keeping the key lead word to each stanza as a single noun, I think that would make it stronger.
Sally Hanan
05/13/06
While I understand what you tried to do, it seems too hard to follow. When you have many verses it helps to have them all have the same number of lines. Because this poem is personal, putting yourself into it would have helped more too, e.g.Prayer
I fall into His grace
and begin to pray within His will.
His powerful Spirit
moves beyond my limited imagination
into action
His miracles become visible