Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Day's End (01/01/14)
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TITLE: When Dusk Deepens into Night | Previous Challenge Entry
By Shanta Richard
01/08/14 -
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The shrill chimes of the phone broke my reverie.
“Hello,” I responded.
“It’s me, Cynthia. Are you busy? Can I talk with you?”
It was my friend who lived in my Senior Housing Building. She called me when she was lonely or bored. I was always encouraged by her cheerful and positive attitude.
“Thank you for calling Cynthia; I have all the time for you. Just a minute while make some hot tea.”
I made the tea, pulled up my armchair by the table and settled down for a cozy chat with Cynthia.
“I am ready now, Cynthia, what’s on your mind?”
“I just had a call from Lydia. She sounded depressed and sad. She says that she feels old and weak and helpless. She used to be such an energetic person, you remember and that is why she is unhappy.”
“Yes I remember. Ever since she had that eye surgery she is feeling kind of low in spirits. We have to do some thing for her,” I said.
“I told her that there are a lot of things we could do for other seniors who live here. Even if we are not strong enough to lift up someone who has fallen we could hold her hand and whisper words of comfort until the ambulance arrives. If we cannot prepare a gourmet Thanksgiving Banquet, we can still make a bowl of chicken soup for sick friend. If we cannot sew a party dress, thank God, we can still thread a needle and repair a tear and fix a hem for an old lady. Don’t you think?”
“That is very true, Cynthia. I do not want my life to be useless. I really do not want my life to end like dusk sinking into night. I want my life to be like a blazing comet that streaks across sky and ends in a burst of sparks,” I said.
“What beautiful way of saying it, Shanta. I too want my life to have a meaning. Do you remember the old Maxwell coffee advertisement, ‘Good to the last drop’? That is what I want my life to be. After every day’s end there is a day’s beginning. King David knew this when he wrote:
‘Cause me to hear thy loving kindness in the morning; for in thee I trust; cause me to know the way wherein I should walk; for I lift my soul unto thee.’ Psalm 143:8 (Authorized King James Version)
“Amen,” I said. “I will call Lydia and talk to her. This one thing we could do when snow covers the ground and the frigid air chills our bones.”
“I am sure Lydia will enjoy it. Good night, my dear, and God bless.”
“Same to you dear friend and God bless you too,” I said, as I hung up.
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With such a passage in the Bible, to make your story that much more complete. "Cause me to hear thy loving kindness in the morning; for in thee I trust; cause me to know the way wherein I should walk; for I lift my soul unto thee.’ Well done!
God bless~
Some of your dialogue felt a bit stilted--not as relaxed and as casual as the words of real people would be. Try reading your entry out loud, even "acting it out"--and give your speakers less "perfect" speech.
Love your beautiful title, and I enjoyed this sweet read.