Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Hacker or Virus (computer) (12/15/11)
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TITLE: Terminal | Previous Challenge Entry
By Nancy Sullivan
12/29/11 -
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ADD TO MY FAVORITES
From uploading a message with Excel
The intruder was hacking, security lacking
And now there is no one to tell.
For my data base melted, Safari is dead
Every bit disappeared from my view
Screen saver stares back, like a mirror turned black
Control, Alt, Delete just won’t do.
My history was purged, my novel no longer
Awaits edits one, two and three
Blogger buddies can’t find me, no one can remind me
Of Facebook friends now set free.
Each web page is missing, my life now a blur
Of images with watermarked tags
Annoying spam that once clogged my RAM
Robs my sleep, leaving eyes that have bags.
My memory is gone. Now where shall I turn?
This novice so timorous and meek
When it comes to such strife that’s taken my life
Where is that squad called the Geek!
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I had a few issues with flow. Some of the lines seemed a bit long and others seems a bit short for the overall rhythm of the poem.
Nice job. There are definitely a couple of "chuckle worthy" lines in there. :)
Some of the rhymes feel forced. Next time you may want to try to be more creative with your rhymes, or use a less restrictive rhyming scheme.
Great job! I enjoyed this!