The Official Writing Challenge
BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN
INSTRUCTIONS
how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level
ENTRIES
submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners
Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.


TRUST JESUS TODAY

  • Share
  • how it works
  • Submit
Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Crime and Punishment (not about the book) (07/21/11)
In the final few weeks before deployment the new recruits’ bravado hides the nagging fear of the unknown. Soon enough reality will fill the blank sheet of inexperience. After a few campaigns their focus will shift from the challenge ahead to what is left behind. My mind is full of thoughts of my beautiful wife, her gentle touch, the smell of her perfume, and the sight of her glistening wet as she steps from the shower distracting me from the dusty, dry uncomfortable task ahead. I am a loyal soldier but I am a faithful lover as well. Is this a conundrum? Maybe the combination is a paradox but I am content. God is good.
----------------------------------
In springtime I would normally be on campaign but modern communication means I can keep abreast of things from the comfort of my palace. Why experience unnecessary discomfort?
I’ll let you in on a secret. This method has definite advantages. I’ve got into the habit of going for a breath of fresh air at the time my neighbour takes her bath. I’m just looking mind you; no touching! She’s a feast for the eyes and there’s no crime in looking, nothing wrong with that!
-------------------------------
People say it’s harder for the wives left behind and even after all this time my heart still aches when he’s on manoeuvres. Each day I worry there will be a message saying he has been wounded, or worse still, killed. I try to distract myself by taking long lazy baths, letting the water run over my skin to chase anxiety away. I have noticed the peeping tom but it’s no problem, in fact he might be useful in keeping my darling safe, so I don’t cover up, in fact sometimes I let him see a little more. I’m flattered he finds me attractive; he has so many to choose from. A girl needs admirers nothing wrong with that!
------------------------------------
Events have taken an unexpected turn, she’s pregnant! I thought she’d be more careful. Silly woman, what was she thinking of? Still I‘ve sent an order for her husband to come off the front line and report to me. It’s not too late to sort this out. No one will ever know the child’s not his. Everything’s planned, after he’s seen me, it’s off home for a few days to do his duty. He’s in the anteroom now. I’ve some gifts for him that should ensure he’s in the mood, if you get my meaning. Nothing wrong with that!
---------------------------------
I feel dreadful; I didn’t mean this to happen. I was only trying to get a bit of leeway for my husband, but everything’s gone wrong. The guilt of what I‘ve done sickens me. I don’t want this baby. I don’t want to live a lie for the rest of my life. David plans a cover up, but the whole thing revolts me. I don’t think I could sleep with my husband without him suspecting something, but it seems he’s not coming anyway. What a mess!
---------------------------------------
Everything’s gone wrong! Stupid man, he just wouldn’t cooperate. I tried everything. Well it’s his own fault. I’ve no choice now. If only he’d been sensible and gone to her like I suggested. Well He will pay for it. I hate doing this but he’s been stubborn and foolish, I ‘m going to have to punish him for his stupidity. I’m writing out the order now.
-------------------------------
The worst has happened; I got the news this morning, ‘killed in the line of action’. It’s my fault, God is punishing me. I feel nothing. I want to die. I don’t even feel hopeful about the child; nothing can take the sense of guilt away.
----------------------------------
Well the deed is done, she’s distraught but doesn’t suspect a thing. Once the mourning period is over I will bring her to my house and make everything legitimate. I will do the right thing by her and the child. Everything is sorted, no-one need ever know. I’m sovereign after all, I make the rules. She’ll come round and when the baby comes everything will be fine. People will applaud my generosity to the widow of a favoured soldier. Nothing wrong with that!
----------------------------------
Living in the palace has not brought happiness; I would give up these riches in a heartbeat. People say I should be grateful but they don’t know the truth. I have lost everything, my husband and my child are dead. Selah.
The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be right now. CLICK HERE

JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.
This article has been read 725 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
marcella franseen
07/28/11
A modern telling of a biblical story. It took me a second to get into the rhythm, but once I did, I really enjoyed it. Great job!
Rachel Stone
07/29/11
Your story is like a slide-show retelling of a very old story with a modern ring of truth. Nice job!
C D Swanson 
07/29/11
Interesting account of David's "sin." Good job of recreating it with this story. I loved it. God Bless you~
Virgil Youngblood 
07/29/11
An interesting viewpoint for a familiar story. Well done.
Allison Egley 
07/29/11
Great entry. I liked the different POVs

The first paragraph seems to be a different POV from all the others, and it threw me for a bit.

Great job with this one. Biblical fiction is one of my favorite genres!