Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Outbreak (04/07/11)
-
TITLE: The Birth of Sin | Previous Challenge Entry
By Mildred Sheldon
04/13/11 -
LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
ADD TO MY FAVORITES
“Oh, Angelica, my precious, when I hear the word outbreak I think back to how sin all started way back in the Garden of Eden.”
“Mama, I know the story of Adam and Eve, but if I used them for my story it definitely would be a very short story, and Mr. Donovan would give me the biggest ‘F’ in the history of Maxwell High.” Angelica said between giggles.
“Honey go back to the very beginning when God created Adam and Eve and put them in the garden. Now if you recall God not only created man, but everything. And I mean everything. He created the heavens, and the earth, and the whole universe, but what else did God create?”
“Mama! What else is there? You just said He created everything so what am I missing?” Angelica said peevishly.
“Oh, Angelica, are you forgetting about the angels? God created them as well. They are the heavenly hosts and there are several different kinds of angels, now aren’t there?”
“Mama, you are a genius. Now why didn’t I think about all the different kinds of angels. I know God created oodles of angels mama. Oh, I love you so much. You are so smart.” Angelica said as she hugged her mama tightly.
“Now my daughter, what kind of angel was Lucifer? Lucifer was known as Morning Light. He was a very powerful archangel and very spiritual. He was in the class of Cherubim’s. There were 3 Archangels, Michael, Gabriel and Lucifer mentioned in the Bible my child, but according to theologians there were 7 total. May I suggest you do a search on archangels honey. You may be surprised at what you learn. I guarantee after that you will be able to write a story about the birth of sin, and if it doesn’t satisfy Mr. Donovan’s assignment then I don’t know what would.”
“Mama, I’m so glad I asked for your help. I knew I could count on you to get my creative juices flowing. Now, can you tell me where the book about angels is located?” Angelica said grinning from ear to ear.
“Well, Angelica, the first place to go to is your dad’s office. Being a pastor that is the most logical place to find the book on angels. You know how your dad loves to do research for each sermon and if he doesn’t have the information he needs on hand off he runs to the library to do research there. He loves to truly teach and instruct the congregation on each book of the Bible, and he does extensive research so he can better expound all pertinent information to instruct the congregation in the ways of the Lord. When you finish that I would love for you read me your finished story later. Okay my darling?” I pulled Angelica close and hugged her warmly.
I turned back to my pot roast and my youngest child ran to her dad’s office. Time passed quickly and about two weeks later Angelica came running into the kitchen dancing, hollering at the top of her lungs, and truly glowing with excitement.
“Mama, oh mama, Mr., Donovan loved my story. Look, look I got an A+ and look at what he wrote. Oh mama, I knew I could count of you for the best advice, and how to write a story that would hit home. Oh, mama, I feel as if I could fly. Oh, mama, I got so wrapped up in my story that I never read it too you before I turned it in. I’m so sorry mama.” Angelica said as she lowered her eyes to the floor.
“Baby, my precious baby. Don’t worry about the small things in life. God is in charge and hey, look how he used your forgetfulness for our good. We both were privileged to share in some of the most exciting news from your school in a long time. Angelica, my child, I am so proud of you, and to God be the glory forever. Right?”
“Oh, mama, you are the greatest. I feel like I could sprout wings and fly.
The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be right now. CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.
In the first paragraph, you have Angelica speaking in the first person, then it switches to third. Then Mama is is first person. Just be aware of that. Also Angelica seemed much younger than a high schooler, but that could just depend on each person's personal experiences.
I also enjoyed the relationship between the mother and daughter. You can tell they have a great relationship. You did a good job and presented a fresh take on the topic.