The Official Writing Challenge
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02/21/08
Wow! This is a very powerful piece. I love the ending. It's so tender. A love like Jenna wasn't used to. Wonderful! Keep on writing!
Laury
02/22/08
I'm thankful for the happy ending but sad over the tragic circumstances of her life beforehand. My true hope is that Jenna found the Truest Love of all through Bryce...the love of Jesus Christ. Would love to hear that part of the story in a sequel. Very powerful, passionate and persuasive writing in this piece.
02/22/08
The first half of this was excellent--you really brought us into Jenna's world. In the second half, you "told" more than "showed"--in other words, it read more like a narration or a summary.

Great title, and very good story.
You paint a vivid image of revenge turned inward.
I know how that word limit can sure interfere with all we have to say, but I concur with Jan that some of the intensity was lost in the middle, though the ending reeled me back in.
Perhaps a brief flashback, as she cried in her room, would fill in the history better than straight narrative. Now getting involved in the church, and meeting Brice, that's a bit trickier to fit in to the word limit.
Thanks for a happy ending!
02/23/08
From the abuse came the hatred of self; and from the hatred of self came the destructive abuse of self...completing a vicious circle of mayhem. A sad story brilliantly and tenderly told here in this entry. Well written and a good take on week's Topic.
Kudos!
02/23/08
WOW. You made me hurt inside, but the redemption is amazing. I really don't know what to say besides WOW.
Your entry really touched my heart. You had me from the title to the last word. Keep writing!
02/25/08
The symbolism in the title is as powerful as the story itself. I wonder if the sea our sins are thrown into when we ask forgiveness is made up of humanity's countless single black tears.

Great entry.
02/25/08
Powerful and heartbreaking! You've written this very well. Your title is perfect...and so descriptive.
I felt your MC's despair. What a touching story. Well done Marita!
Excellent job showing the emotions of the MC and I was happy for a healing ending.
So much pain, but so much healing available, so glad she sought the chuch. Keep writing.
02/25/08
Very good, nice take on the topic.
Wonderful job conveying the MC's inner darkness. The middle "narration" part was a bit of a jolt, but I was sucked back in by the end. Great writing!
02/26/08
The beginning and the ending were powerfully written. The middle seemed to be just an explanation and not part of the narrative. Fix that up, and this will be a great story for teens. Keep writing.
You never cease to amaze me with your writing Marita. Here is a good example of a story that might be true or might be fiction, but I can't tell the difference, because it felt so real as I was reading it. Many teens struggle with this very issue, and the hurt really came through here.

I loved your title and the ending too. :)
This line was awesome.. Scars that marked the days when she needed to feel something more painful than her memories.
Excellent writing. Thank you for sharing. I echo what someone else said... your story made me wonder if it was true!
This is beautiful! I loved the character of Jenna and especially the hope at the end. I was so hoping that there would be someone special for her. Someone that would understand and didn't mind the scars. Your last line really sums up this piece. ^_^
02/27/08
The first half of this story made me feel Jenna's pain. Wow. The second half wasn't as powerful but I'm very thankful for the hope she found--and I loved the ending. ;)
02/27/08
You packed a lot into this good piece. I think it would have been even more dramatic if you had focused on only one part of the girl's story--that way you have more room for description and dialogue.
Wow, what a trek down a dark hallway. You made everything very, very believable and my heart ached for your MC. I'm so glad she found someone to hold on to and believe in. Hopefully, this kind of writing will help others to let them there is hope in place of despair. Great job!
The first section is particularly powerful with its vivid description of the journey into darkness of a troubled teen. I was glad you brought her to happiness with someone who would love her, scars and all.
This was hard for me to read because I could so identify with Jenna. I was a little confused how the transformation happened but so glad for the healing and the beautiful ending. Well done. (And I'm reminded of my own healing as well. Thank you :)
02/28/08
Congratulations! What a well-written piece! 3rd place, wow!
Laury