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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Bold (emotionally) (08/30/07)
So true to bluff - straight faced an
Unquenched varment.
With needle projected - pierced though
My under garments.

Dealing with the sting, with swift hands
To vent -
Blood smattered - but the bloated beast
Was battered.

'In Bold', as this tale unfolds...
Just must have have wasted,
About a pint in this ordeal!
As proof I'm indeed anemic,
I might take a week off as a normal...
Schizophrenic.'

'Look !- took charge of our daily chores,
All in the hustle of a shuffle.'

'I buried the beast - to leak the
least,
And straight flushed it down the toilet.'
I may have boiled and foiled it.
And have provided a feast.'

'Now when the chips are down , you can
deal with me,
Not bluffing - I'm a bit dizzy as you
may see.'

'Sometimes spouse, a straight flush,
Can be better than a full crush.'

'In folding dear; how you call to say,
I shirk at my housework all day'!
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Member Comments
Member
Date
Mark Bell
09/07/07
Interesting meter, and subject. The ending was a nice touch, I hadn't though you were going there. I'm not certain I followed all the metaphors, though. while the subject remained the same, it seemed the writing kept coming from a new direction, rather than carrying it through.
Joanne Sher 
09/10/07
Interesting imagery - I'm also not sure I understand it all, but it definitely had quite a voice. Keep writing!
Dee Yoder
09/10/07
Truly unique! I had a bit o trouble following it also, though I guessed a mosquito was the bad guy, and then, the victim!
Linda Watson Owen
09/11/07
Ah, yes, a mosquito, that helps! You had me scratching my head there in more ways than one. ;-) I'm anxious to read more of your writings! I like your style.