Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Pastor (11/30/06)
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TITLE: A Man First | Previous Challenge Entry
By Michelle Burkhardt
12/05/06 -
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Karen slipped out of her office to use the restroom, on her way back she sighed with a heavy heart. This past week had been a nightmare and the events stilled circled around in her head. As she rounded the corner into her glass office she could see a book sitting on her desk.” Hmm?” she wondered, “That was not there before.” As she approached closer the title, “Freedom from Lesbianism” screamed out of her. She quickly grabbed the book and shoved it in her drawer. She knew who had left her the book. How could Pastor Ryan do this to her? She had been a part of the church since it started over 15 years ago. He knew of her struggle and he knew of her success. Why, would he leave this book on her desk right out in the open? Her office was surrounded with glass windows, plus, she worked with children. If a parent would have seen that book, she could have lost her job.
Pastor Ryan always appeared to be a gentle, biblical man; yet, lately something had changed. The church had just celebrated 15 years and, unfortunately, attendance was down. Last week, Karen and her roommate, Cindy, had been called into the church office for a personal meeting. As the words rolled out of Pastor Ryan’s mouth, Karen could hardly believe her ears. Was he blaming them for the low church numbers? Did he just tell her she had till February to move out of Cindy’s home? Karen wasn’t the only one under attack. Cindy was told to grow her hair longer, wear dresses and even sell her truck because trucks were for men not woman. Pastor Ryan informed them that even though he believed they were free from homosexuality, he felt the perception was still there and these changes needed to be made or they would lose their church membership. She recalled, when he opened his office door, indicating the meeting was over, he reminded them to let him know of their decision on whether they would comply.
Karen and Cindy had decided, with a few supporters, that the treatment they were receiving from Pastor Ryan and the Elders was not biblical. Karen and Cindy had overcome their sin of homosexuality and the church did not have a right to dictate where they should live, how they should dress, or even what kind of car they should drive. They had separate rooms, wore clean, neat clothes and always conducted themselves in a respectful manner. “God does not judge by external appearances.” (Gal. 2:6) was just one of the verses that Karen held onto; yet, she believed the book on her desk was proof that Pastor Ryan and the church did not believe they were free from that past lifestyle and that they were indeed being judged by their outer shell.
A month later, Karen and Cindy’s membership was revoked and they were even told that they were not welcomed to worship there anymore. Losing the church that Karen had become a Christian in was one of the most difficult times in her life. Didn’t Christ die so that we could be set free? Didn’t Jesus say, “Your sins are no more?” Why, were the church and its leader not remembering that it’s the blood that makes us white as snow, not our own actions? Karen knew she was not perfect and the Holy Spirit guided her to let go of the bitterness that threaten to overtake her. Plus, she knew she needed to forgive Pastor Ryan and bear in mind that he is not perfect either. Christ also died for his sins for he is a man first and a Pastor second. Maybe, someday he will remember that too.
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It sounds to me like there is a lot of hurt behind this piece. I'm sorry to read that. I wish you well in your journey in Him.