The Official Writing Challenge
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09/01/06
This is lovely. I'm a little dense I'm sure, but is the "Master" supposed to be God? If not, a little more information as to the circumstances behind this episode would be good. But in any case, it's really good work.
09/03/06
very intriguing story. I also wonder if the Master is God. The story captured my attention. Thank you for writing it.
09/06/06
Great use of symbolism here--nicely done.
I really enjoyed reading this and felt like I was sitting right there next to her as she played. :)

Just a couple things: "...then room above the library." Should be 'the room...

And: "I could practically see my Master" I believe this use of master should not be capitalized, because it is being used as his title, rather than his name. (like Mom vs my mom)

Other than that, this is a great story and I'm glad I read it tonight. :)