Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Personal Peace (06/01/06)
TITLE: Perfect Peace 101
By Marita Vandertogt
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Lord, itís me, down here on the floor. I donít usually get down on my knees anymore to speak to You, because, well, I guess it seems a little old fashioned. And weíve made you such a buddy, God, that the knee thing seems a bit formal.
Well, anyway, Iím trying it. The rheumatism in my right knee is acting up a little bit, and I know Iíll have a hard time getting back up again, but hey, it just feels kind of right down here. Perspective and all I guess. Actually, if I close my eyes and stop my rambling for a minute, I can almost feel You right here.
But only for a minute because honestly Lord, I canít stop worrying. You see, I have this situation that I know you know about, and tomorrow I have to face it, and I donít feel ready. I donít think I can handle it, not emotionally anyway.
I know you told us that you left us your peace, a peace that passes all understanding, but sometimes Lord, I canít seem to find it. Well, actually, most of the time. Maybe itís because I spend more time stewing in my own stuff and getting all worked up wondering what Iím going to do next, and then I donít do anything, except go to bed, and try to sleep, and make it go away.
ďYou will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast because he trusts in you.Ē Thatís somewhere in Isaiah I think. I saw it on a plaque recently, pretty gold letters and red roses around it. Itís not all that easy though Lord. It seems as if true peace takes work, to get to that state of mind, that steadfast state. Almost seems like an impossible task. But it canít be, or you wouldnít have told us to do it.
Iíve taken positive attitude classes. I know what it means to focus on the good stuff and ignore the bad, or at least try. I work at it. But this peace you promise is different from the good feelings, isnít it? Maybe I just need to spend more time focusing on what you have to say to me, instead of worrying about what my situation is telling me. But worrying is easy for me Lord. For some reason, itís harder to focus on the promise of peace than it is to focus on the worrying. Why is that, do You suppose?
Maybe instead of a prayer to experience this peace, I need to ask you how I can get and keep that steadfast mindset that keeps me from getting into situations like this, on my knees with you that is, panicking instead of praising.
Whatís that you say? I know, I know. Spending time with You. Listening to You. And doing what you tell me, seeing that You are faithful, and the more I see that, the more my faith will grow into that steadfast mindset. And then the perfect peace will follow, right? Why does everything worth having, have to take work.
Meanwhile, I know Youíll take care of my situation your way. It might not be to my liking, but then, the peace thing, thatís where that comes in, right? Even though things might take a turn Iím not ready for. When I think about it, Lord, there really isnít anything else that I need. Your peace just about covers everything. Except maybe this rheumatic knee. Anything you could do for that would be much appreciated as well.
And if you could give me a hand getting upÖ..
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