The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
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Date
05/05/06
Oh, how I love the image of that little bird inside the thorns! And you encourage your reader to make the further connection with the shards of glass, but every so subtlely. Well done!
05/07/06
Great descriptions all the way through. So real and full of feeling. Loved the style and the piece From a purely practical view, I totally missed that great part about the bird because I'm not a word-for-word reader and there is no distinct definition of paragraphs. Double-spacing between them makes for an easier read for us "scanners".
I agree with both Jans. Well written with imagery that mirrors your emotional state. A truly beautiful piece.
Super writing. I could feel your character's emotion. I also loved the last sentence about the bandaid for the heart.
05/10/06
The pain portrayed her is so vivid. I have a friend who is going through a divorce now. It is so painful.
Thank you for sharing this well-written story.
Your writing is very similar to a friend of mine... her work is awesome, and so is yours. Just some spacing and it would be perfect! You're very good with descriptions!

Oh, and did I mention that the two of you (you and my friend) have ALMOST the same last name? How cool is that??