The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 1764 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
02/21/06
This has the potential to be a very powerful piece. There are some issues with inconsistent tenses--fix those and this will really pack a punch.
02/22/06
I desperately tried to understand, as I could sense some beautiful settings, and some powerful incidents, but I have to admit defeat. It was too deep for my shallow mind. But I did read some beautiful scenes, not that I understood them, but this author is a DEEP thinker with a fathomless depth of talent. I shall return to try again, because I think it might be worth my while. Thank you.
02/23/06
Very vivid, poetic -this was great!
02/23/06
This is beautiful, and shows the horribleness, sadness, and gloriousness of that Great Day. You've written this so very well, with just a bit of clean up needed. I loved the tenderness shown by the tears. Absolutely wonderful!
02/23/06
You have painted a wonderfully vivid picture here. My only "complaint"? Many of your "sentences" aren't sentences, but with a little adjusting this would go from good to great. Blessings.
Makes me happy I am on the right side. :o)

Really liked this line:

"A cleansing fire rained down from the heavens, sweeping all things away in a twinkling of an eye. The cries of the vanquished called out in their torment, as the precious One wept for their losses."

Keep writing.
02/24/06
Very powerful! Unfortunately there will be those that the Lord will weep over on that day. All will not accept Him.

02/24/06
Vibrant, visceral imagery; you did a good job avoiding cliche. There were a couple of tense changes and punctuation misses that distracted me a moment. But not for long...well done!
02/24/06
I think this is brilliant! I love the way you showed us the timelessness of God as He views all of history. Your descriptions were powerful and gripping and compelling. GREAT JOB!!!
Great job. Very powerful.
This was beautiful. I was with you up until the end, (no pun intended). I was a little confused about your last sentence. I understand the theology behind the Great Battle , but what did you mean by the replanting? Are you talking about the Great Tribulation happening AFTER the Second Coming? But besides a few difficult phrases (tenses seemed a bit off) I loved it. I love your depth. I can't belive you wrote this in an hour! If I was given 25 hours I don't think I would've come up with such a beuatiful, creative literary masterpeice. This was awesome. I especially loved "waiting to cleanse His creation of the stain the enemy had brought upon it at the hand of Man. For a moment all of creation stood still, as a sad whisper spoke into His heart." those few sentences speak volumns of your talent. Please excuse my spelling mistakes! great job!
03/02/06
Oh, Ed - you were wrong, I liked this piece! Of course I really like all that you write - such talent and what a mind! Very powerful, wonderful insight into Christ's sorrow and a beautiful ending. Nice job!