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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Break (02/06/06)

TITLE: It Should Have Been Me
By Joe Moreland


I sat in the shadows, observing them. It sickened me to watch them prancing around without a care in the world. I mean, there they were Ė these flesh and blood created things Ė acting as though they belonged with the creator of the universe. I didnít believe, even for a second, that they possessed the slightest inkling of what they had. Which is why I had to put a stop to it.

I mean, how could I stand by in the shadows, and let these despicable, low-end copies take my rightful place? It should have been me walking with him. It should have been me ruling over every creature with the breath of life in it. He never would see things my way, though. Try as I might, I couldnít get him to see reason.

I always saw it coming, you know. He had such a great affinity for these frail creatures he made in his own image. Vanity, thatís what I think. He even gave them free will. He would go on and on about how much their worship meant to him because it was by choice. Well, I had a choice too, and the more he chose them as his favorites, the easier my choice became. I had to break them up. Separate them somehow and put things back in their rightful place.

The idea of how to do it hit me like a brick one day. The answer was in Godís own pleasure. He was so joyful over their decision to choose him that it only made sense he would be equally displeased if I got them to choose against him. It was perfect and I knew just how to make it happen.

The symbol of their decision to choose him was in the garden. The tree of knowledge of good and evil, he called it. A little melodramatic, I thought, but God always did have a theatrical side. All I had to do was get one of the little spiny things to disobey God by eating the fruit of that forbidden tree. It was such a perfect plan that I couldnít wait to put it into motion.

I chose the female simply because her stupidity was easier to manipulate than the manís. He was so unimaginative that it would have been nearly impossible to get him to envision the benefits of knowing the difference between good and evil. She, on the other hand, God had blessed with a certain creativeness that came in very handy when the opportunity arose. Once I convinced her it would make her more like God, she did the rest. In short they both ate and my mission was a wonderful success.

At first, I was extremely pleased with myself. They were given the heave-ho and made mortal to boot. It was extremely gratifying to me when I began to see the decaying of their flesh. Of course, I had a first hand view myself since I was no longer welcome in Godís presence either. Still, all in all, it was gratifying to know I had managed to break away his little pets.

What I never counted on, though, was that despite their sudden mortality and complete separation from God, the he would still manage to find a way to give them back their privilege of choice. Despite their sin, he still wanted them. He built a bridge over the gap I had so carefully created and invited them back to him.

So, my plan was successful and a failure. This has made my mission a permanent one. I now spend all my time trying to keep the creatures from seeing the bridge over the chasm that separates them from God. Sounds difficult, right? I mean itís right there as plain as day. Itís not as hard as it seems, though, because man is more creative than ever, and much easier to manipulate. He has invented so many useful distractions that I barely have to lift a finger.

Why do I do it, you ask? Because I hate them, thatís why. They donít deserve him, andÖ

Öit should have been me.

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Member Comments
Member Date
Jan Ackerson 02/13/06
This is an excellent piece of writing!
Edy T Johnson 02/14/06
Intriguing to see this story from the enemy's point of view. Good job thinking outside the box!
Shari Armstrong 02/17/06
Ooo the ulimate sour grapes! very well done and chilling.
Rachel Rudd 02/19/06
Well-written! I liked the point of view as well!