The Official Writing Challenge
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01/09/06
A heart rending story...but left unfinished. As a reader, I want an ending; however, I could feel the pain. Nice writing.
01/11/06
Beautifully written, the mother is very realistically protrayed. I think it'd have even more of an impact without the last sentence about the veggies. I'd love for anyone struggling with addiction to read this.
I guess this is my favorite kind of story; one that pulls you into the mind of the main character. Unfortunately, I identify a little too closely with this woman. My favorite line is when she says to her daughter, "This isn't the type of thing to bother Jesus with." Really makes you sit up and take notice. Of course it's exactly the type of thing you would take to Jesus, but sometimes we decide on our own what to turn over and what not to. Well written...great job!
I think this is excellent writing! You make us feel the desparation of the mother to want to kick the habit,and make us hurt with her.
The prayer is the first step toward healing, and recovery often starts with hope.
I don't think you left this unfinished; maybe others would disagree, but hope is followed by taking the steps back to normalcy in your life (the reference to veggies).
How far she had slipped is shown in her lack of awareness of what is in her kitchen pantry to eat.
Her thought about Jamie seeming to always be hungry could be the first glimmers of realization that Jamie might have a predilection to become a future addict (that unfillable inner emptiness and always searching for something to fill it.)
If this doesn't make it to the lists of top entries, I will be very surprised. Blessings to you, and abundantly!
01/13/06
Chocolate? I recognize the symtoms. LOL! Enjoyed this.
01/13/06
I didn't mean to make light of this or real addictions, was just thinking on your hint and the brown stuff is what popped into my mind. Forgive me if I am wrong.
01/13/06
I am also thinking food addiction. If I'm right, I can totally relate! Wonderful writing throughout. As mentioned above, you did a great job of allowing the reader to get inside your head. Superb!
Blessings, Lynda
01/13/06
Yes, I thought of chocolate too until I read the responses from other readers. The fact that she was at the cupboard is what made me think that way, rather than a more serious??? addiction.

This was really touching - the way the children were so innocent and refreshing - and the way the main character took her problem to Jesus on their advice and then made a step herself to have a healthy dinner.

Well done.
When I wrote this, I was thinking of a food addiction, but I purposefully tried to be vague so that any one with an addiction could relate. I also thought it would be read more seriously if thought to be a drug or alcohol problem. If I just came out and said it was a food addiction, I was afraid people would think I was exaggerating and make light of it.

The truth is, food can be just as much of an addiction and give you a 'rush' too. It can be used to fill a void just like any other drug and leaves you feeling just as empty and alone in the end. Only God can fill the emptiness.

I've enjoyed reading everyone's takes on this. Sandra is way deeper than I am! I love her interpretation of why I mentioned the little girl always being hungry. I just wanted a way to hint that the addiction was to food. We'll pretend Sandra's right... ;)
01/14/06
I think you did a great job of portraying a food addiction without just saying it. And I like the way you wrapped it up with the veggie line. Great job!
Oh, yes, definitely a food addiction! So real. Every bite of chocolate is exactly as you portray it. Great storytelling!!
01/15/06
You achieved what you set out to! A story about addiction that just about any addict can relate to. Well done. A thoroughly engaging read.