Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Escape (01/02/06)
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TITLE: No Fear Here | Previous Challenge Entry
By c clemons
01/09/06 -
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“I can’t, I’m afraid.”
“Do you remember the promises?”
“Yes, but it’s the unknown that scares me.”
“Do you trust me?”
“Yes”
“Then have faith in me.”
“It’s not you that I have a problem trusting, it’s him over there. Look at him, he’s big and looks powerful. He might devour me if I leave this spot. I want to go with you but it’s all so unfamiliar. This spot, this place I know, I know it well. The good the bad and the ugly happened here and nothing ever changes.”
“Are you tired of running?”
“Yes”
“I’ll give you rest.”
“What if I find myself trapped again?”
“I always provide a means of escape.”
“You’ll never leave me?”
“Nor will I forsake you.”
“I remember praying with my mother years ago when I was a child and she said all I had to whenever I was in trouble was call upon your name. Tonight I did just that when the fear was so overwhelming it almost swallowed me up. My usual means of escape of turning my mind off didn’t work this time. But right now instead of fear I feel a sense of incomprehensible love that is filling this room, this spot, this place.”
“Follow me”
“Yes, I will follow you.”
“Now, look child at the thing you were so afraid of.”
“Is this the thing that had me so scared? It was just smoke and mirrors making it look
bigger and scarier than it really was. It is absolutely laughable I will never fear again. Love really does cast out all fear.”(I John 4:18)
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When I began reading I thought this was dialogue between God and David the shepherd boy right before David killed Goliath. Now I see that this is any one of us whenever we encounter a larger-than-life problem.
Your dialogue flowed pretty well. I wonder if the second long paragraph of dialogue could be rewritten in some way. It just sounded a little 'stiff' to me.
You also needed a couple of commas here and there: "The good the bad and the ugly happened here and nothing ever changes." (commas should be placed between items in a series); “Now, look child at the thing you were so afraid of.” (Could this be written "Now look, child, at the thing you were so afraid of"?)
A very creative look at practicing the Presence of God and, through it, finding escape.