The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 1244 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
11/28/05
The first time I read it I got the Solomon and Emmanuel message...and thought it should be the "other" way around; however, a second read I realized We are here to take care of our Earth...and we're neglecting it. Very well said, and takes a deep mind to write such wisdom! Thank you.
11/28/05
I'm sorry, a thunderstorm came up and I had to unplug comp. - but I wanted to say that the verse from Proverbs says it in a nutshell; and in my humble opinion..your story tells of mankinds negligence so well. Thank you for sharing.
11/28/05
I think this is even deeper than tending the earth - it's tending the gardens of our lives, weeding out the bad (with the Gardener's help) and allowing His fruit to grow in us. I love it! The only problem was the POV switch in the last paragraph. Overall, you did a GREAT job on this!
12/01/05
I like this story. God can only do so much in our lives. We have been given free will so that we can cultivate our relationship with Him if we choose to. Many people wish that God would work in their lives without their actually having to become Christians even! If any relationship is to be fruitful, it takes both parties to be present and committed!
I agree about the POV shift: throughout the story it was told in third person and in the past paragraph the pronouns used suggested first person.
If you already know what POV shift means, then I apologize for explaining it. Some have expressed confusion because the person commenting does not explain what they mean when they say certain things are wrong with the piece. Great story:)
12/02/05
Thanks for the messsage. We have to take care of what God has given us or we would end up in a tangled mess just like the untended vines.
12/05/05
Yes, indeed, good preaching! Aren't we all like Solomon (oops, I mean Saul O'Mann) too many times? Wonderful analogy! I think I would make what the two speakers say stand out by separating the quotations from the rest of the paragraph.
OOh, isn't it like us to blame Him for not taking care of things when we are supposed to be intimately involved with our own "garden"? This lesson spoke to me; I have been too busy with non-essential, doesn't-matter-in-eternity things!
At the very end, there is a POV shift where you move from third person to first person. Best left in one POV or the other (I'm curious how this would sound written in first person "I" throughout.) I just read the other comments and realize that others have said this as well. I try to always read the comments of others last so I can be moved by the article and not what others say about it.