The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
So beautiful, so sweet. I love your love for Him . . .
This is a lovely poem. I like how you start from a relatively dark place that most people can relate to, but as we expand our faith God steps in.

I noticed some tiny things like breath instead of breathe gentle vs. gently. Though punctuation in a poem can be a stylistic approach, since you did use periods, I saw some lines that might be clearer with a comma or question mark.

You do a wonderful job of pulling the reader in. I could feel both the pain and then relief of the MC. This line really touched my heart: Standing here whiter than snow
cleansed of all I've been.
It's a powerful line and one I need to remind myself of when I allow the darkness to creep back in. Nicely done.
I always enjoy reading poetry in the challenge entries.

I don't know if you ever write free verse, but you might like to know that I'm teaching a free writing class on the FaithWriters forums. This week's lesson is on free verse, and I'm sure there will be one on rhymed and metered poetry one of these weeks. Feel free to stop by--I love to hear from poets of all kinds.