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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Whine (05/23/13)
A few days later, Jethro sought out Moses. "What are you trying to do; starve us to death? At least in Egypt we had meat."

Moses's face tightened. "What do you want me to do? Snap my fingers and a waiter will appear. There is no such thing as a sit-down restaurant."

Jethro clenched his teeth. "Up until now, we've had bread. I'm sick of bread."

Moses threw his walking stick on the ground. "Well beggars can't be choosers."

Moses went to a place where it was quiet and dropped on his knees and called upon the Lord.

"Dear God, I wished I lived in the twentieth century where they have grocery stores, bottled water and even a touring bus. Although if we had these things, the Israelites would find something else to complain about. I can't take this anymore. Why did you put me in charge of them? There are six hundred thousand people and they want meat. I guess I look like a chicken farmer to them."

The Lord said to Moses, "I've heard the people's grumblings. At twilight you will have enough meat for everybody."

Moses walked back to the Israelites. "Jethro, don't you remember what the Lord has done for us? When we left Egypt, he caused the Red Sea to part when the Egyptians chased us. Then when they attempted to follow us, and I put up my hand and the water crushed our enemies. Don't you think the God that can make the seas part can provide food and water for us?"

Jethro just stared out into space.

Moses narrowed his eyes. "Instead of complaining, you and the rest of the Israelites need to trust God. He will provide. You need to stop your whining. This evening a strong wind is going to blow from the sea and you will be able to gather the quail. You'll have the meat that you want."

That evening the winds started and the quail blew to the shore. Jethro sprinted towards Moses "God did it, the only thing is now we have too much quail. I don't know what we're going to do with all of it."
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This article has been read 723 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 
05/31/13
Oh this is too bad. Half of your story is missing. It's so important to always hit preview before submit as it gives you a chance to see the article as the reader will. That last proofread is a vital part of presenting the best piece possible. This was a great story with a nice modern feel to it. The ending is fantastic! Perhaps you can post the entire story in the general submission section. I know you worked hard on it and it was a great story.
C D Swanson 
05/31/13
I thought this was well written and a good job with the retelling of exodus. I don't often read others comments, but noticed Shann stating it "was half-finished?" I thought maybe you ended it that way for drama purpose. Am I wrong?

Anyhow,thank you for this piece.

God bless~
C D Swanson 
05/31/13
Shann is always TOTALLY right on with her comments, so perhaps I was missing something. And, I respect her comments so much. LOL. But, I did enjoy it anyhow.

I look forward to seeing it in its entirety, if it wasn't already finished?

Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 
06/06/13
I am this person's challenge buddy, so I know the first few paragraphs where Jethro whined about wanting cold water and Moses replied that now they did not have bottled water, but he could take his rod and hit a rock to get water were missing. When he copied and pasted the beginning part didn't get transferred, but even with a few missing lines it's still a great story. The ending was complete and I thought it a hoot that the people still complained. I guess humans haven't evolved too much after all. :)
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 
06/06/13
Congratulations for ranking 6th in your level! (The highest rankings can be found on the message boards)Happy Dance!!