The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
03/11/13
The waiting must be incredibly hard. You've revealed the love and pain you're experiencing, but also the hope that God provides.
03/12/13
Despite heartbreak, we know He is faithful as your story expresses. He is our Hope. May your story minister to others who are experiencing this.
This is so tender and loving.
I assume this is a true story and if it is the pain must be unbearable knowing she was raised to love the Lord and see her turn and walk away. My heart goes out to all involved as well as my prayers.
Congratulations on your Highly Commended!
03/14/13
Congratulations on your well deserved HC. Great Job.
Wow this is such a beautiful story. I could tell you poured your emotions out on the page raw for the world to see and I know that took courage.

I noticed some tiny things like at one point you said something like: for her husband, father and I, but it should be and me. A great way to tell is to take out the other people. You wouldn't say for I. Also this line made me stumble: As her parents, as our daughter and her husband’s extended family, we were desperate.
It isn't complete and the two as confused me. Because you mention our daughter you could do it like this: As our daughter's family unraveled, her father and I became desperate.

Those are tiny things that a good proofreader can help you catch. Overall you did a fine job and you touched me with your story, if it's true know I just prayed for her, if it's not true God knows someone who needs that prayer, but I have a sense that it is true because your pain is so palpable. Either way Congratulations on a great job and of ranking 38 overall!