The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
"Cool" indeed! Wonderful write.
03/12/13
I thought this was well-written. The ending completely satisfied. I had to smile at the grandson asking about the dolls tied together. :)
03/17/13
oh, this left me with tears in my eyes. What a testimony to Christ and happy endings! Loved it!
I loved this story. You did a splendid job with it. I could feel the suspense and tension build as I read.

I noticed a couple of things though. Try to avoid the pesky passive verbs like was. Instead just say an active verb like She prayed instead of she was praying. The next concept is a hard one to fully understand and I am still wrapping my mind around it myself. But you have what is called a POV shift. The reader can only see what the MC sees, hears feels and thinks. Since it appears Elizabeth is your MC, then you can't tell the reader what the husband does out of her sight. You could do something like this though: Elizabeth hugged him. Her body stiffened as she recognized the familiar scent. It always took her back to that horrible day at the hospital. The one nurse drowned herself in this perfume and as she sniffed it now, she envisioned the nurse wrapping her arms around her husband and comforting him.

That's not perfect, but just an example to show you what I mean by POV shift.

I think the story was great and I could feel my heart pound as he came home with the dolls. What a brilliant take on the topic. You did a grand job. Congratulations for ranking 6th in level two!