The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
02/24/13
There's a good message in here, although you seemed to go off in different directions before getting to it. I think you write well but tend to add too much 'other stuff' that's a bit distracting. You were bang on topic and there's a lot of energy in your work. Keep writing because I suspect it's therapeutic for you and enlightening for others. You have some interesting ideas and experiences to pass on to dull folk... like me!
02/24/13
Lots of messages in this multi-layered piece. Good spark and vivacious style.
Thanks. God bless~
Confession is good for the soul.
By the end of your article, you were off to the races and hitting the nail on the head. I enjoyed the humor and positive attitude and look forward to future submissions.
02/24/13
I enjoyed this. I can relate to the big awkward machines that punched holes in cards. I worked as a keypunch operator in my younger years.

Very good message here.
You do have a real way with your words and sentence structure... I was all settled in to hear a nice story about your key board and then you started to tell the reader what was going on currently with you as you were writing your story. I found myself wanting to hear the rest of your story on the key board. While I thought you made great observations about what was happening with you and your scripture references were spot on for those observations, it was like reading two different stories. You are very gifted as a writer, and once you develop one solid direction with your plot and characters, you will have so many cool stories to share. Am looking forward to hearing more from you. You have got some awesome descriptions! God's Blessings to you.
I love the honesty in your writing. Good job!
I really enjoyed this piece. it especially touched me as I am having problems with my left hand. I've lost some function on my left side and because i can't feel if my finger hits the cap lock key and I didn't listen to my typing teacher when she told me to watch the page not my fingers, i can get a lot of typing done before realized that dratted cap lock button had been pushed. As I'm writing up my comments I realize much like the MC, my eyes have focused on the wrong thing--I should be watching the paper or what it stands for in this story--my eyes should be on God.

Now that I have rambled on, I do want to point out I noticed once or twice where you slipped from the past tense to the present.

I think you covered the topic in a fun and fresh way. I also think many of us can relate to your lovable MC. You did my heart good and raised my spirits so I am going to bed with a smile in part due to your words and the Spirit's impeccable timing. Bless you. :)
02/26/13
I like your energetic writing style and believe God has given you definite talent as a story teller! Sometimes you're a bit too "wordy" for me, but you do use some good strong verbs and descriptive adjectives. (I noticed, as someone else mentioned, that you wrote in two different tenses, so you should choose one and stick with it throughout your piece.) I liked the part about humility being the "pride numbing" skeleton key to unlock a closer relationship with God. I look forward to reading more of your work, as you drew me in and kept me interested to the end.
02/27/13
Clever title and unique direction for this piece. You also presented a valuable lesson for the reader through your own struggle while writing this challenge entry. Well done!
02/28/13
HEARTY CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR LEVEL WIN for this wonderful piece! I mentioned earlier that you definitely have story-telling talent, and this proves me correct!! :D WAY TO WRITE!!
Way to go girl, I am so happy for you on your win! You have a lot of stories in you and I know you will go far...
Congratulations on placing third in your level and for ranking 28 overall! (The highest rankings can be found on the message boards for the top 8 to 15 in each level and the top 35 overall.)
02/28/13
Congrats. God bless~
Great piece! Great message! Thanks for sharing.
Great piece! Great message! Thanks for sharing.
Humility is the key. This piece speaks volumes. Thanks for sharing and congratulations for placing third.