Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Funny (10/04/12)
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TITLE: THE SHOPPING TRIP | Previous Challenge Entry
By julie clark
10/11/12 -
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ADD TO MY FAVORITES
Its time for the dreaded shopping trip
That saps your energy true
The nightmare begins
Forgot my jacket, now I’m wet through
Trollies are clashing, all different sizes
Protesting children make horrid noises
L plates are needed for trolley pushers
Losing control for the sake of a butchers
Then conflict begins between mother and child
Child runs round noisy and wild
Parents buy fruit and healthy snacks
Children buy sugar coated cereal snaps
Now where is that peanut butter isle
You ask the stacker with a big smile
While we are waiting, stop for a chat
With my friendly neighbour a very nice chap
Finally done, but still not the end
Tennis like cashiers. Sit there and send
The necessary items to be scanned
And some can’t resist the infernos’ yawn
Back to the car and back at the house
The children are playing quiet as a mouse
Where will it all go, cupboard and fridge
They all seem to have shrunk to the size of a midge
And when you finally think its over
You sit down at your desk
And survey all the post in your hand
“WE ARE SORRY TO SAY YOU ARE OVERDRAWN”
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I think some of the rhythm and rhymes felt a tad forced but I struggle with that myself so I know how hard it is to perfect a piece in such a short time.
The ending surprised me. i didn't see that coming at all. I thought it would be like my house after I've spent hours and tons of money shopping someone always complains that there's nothing to eat. I like that you took me in a different direction then what I was expecting. Nice job.
Thanks. God bless~
God Bless!
Thanks for sharing.