The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 298 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
This is an interesting story. I will admit I thought you were talking about the country singer at first until I remembered it was Glenn not John. :) You did a nice job of developing an intriguing conflict that many can relate to today.

Your story would be more powerful if you did more showing and less telling. One way to do it would be to add dialog instead of telling the doctor called Sarah instead show the actual dialog. The other thing that I thought of his patient confidentiality. It would be unethical for the doctor to call Sarah and something he could even get sanctioned for.

With that said, I kind of miss the times when the doctors cared enough to act and attempt to really make a difference in their patient's life. Your story shows a compassion that we need to bring back into the world. Your ending was great and brought the story full circle. You covered the topic fully and delivered an important message or two in the process.
09/12/12
Well stated. Thank you.