The Official Writing Challenge
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Thank you for a very poignant story. Hurricanes are disasterous and danger and all those that lost everything my heart went out to them, but the volunteers were amazing. I enjoyed this very much. Thank you for sharing and God bless.
You did an outstanding job describing the disaster that ripped apart families and buildings alike. They say a hurricane is alive, it has a mind of its own and blows its fury where it wants to.
08/30/10
There is some great energy in this entry. I love the resilient spirit of the main character.
One minor quibble would be that you used single line italics to denote both thoughts and movement of time. I think it would look better to the eye if you used some other method to mark the passage of time. Well done. This is good.
I remember hearing a person say, "I don't get tired of the work -- I get tired doing the work." You've demonstrated that clearly. Aother hurricane season is on the way -- best be prepared, just in case. Well done.
08/31/10
Whew! What a touching journey. Great job!
Wow! This was a good read. It's amazing the way things can go full circle like that. You did a good job handling this story.
09/01/10
I started this comment on my computer and it crashed, so I'll try not say too much just in case...LOL
Enjoyed your entry.
I think it would be good to switch the 1st and 2nd paragraphs. The 2nd one is a great hook.
Perhaps you might want to give your charaters names, the church as well. It would draw the reader in more.
keep writing.

Mona
09/01/10
This was written very well. I like the way you ended it with deja vu. Often we need God's help again and again to get through circumstances that we've gone through before.

On the critiquing side, although it's an awesome story, it could be a tad bit more on topic. Maybe with people struggling to breathe at the loss of their homes?

Well, at any rate, I think you did a great job with this well-told story. :)