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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Taste (07/15/10)

TITLE: There Are Four Basic Tastes
By Dorene Lang
07/19/10


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The mother could not get enough of the smell of her new baby. He smelled like sweet hay warmed by the sun. He was good enough to eat, sweet. After twenty two long hours of labor, she decided that the new little boy was definitely worth it. He was worth every pain filled hour. He was worth the terrifying table on which a sheet separated her from the necessary c-section. He was even worth the bloody nail marks on her poor husbands arm. Beautiful baby who slept through the many slurpy kisses that she planted on his face. Mmmm, sweet.

The young man was soured by life. He sat on the edge of the sidewalk pretending to read a paper, and waited for the sun to warm his aching back. He watched an ant crawl through the hole in the big toe of his shoe. He didn’t care, it was touch, and he had not had any for so very long. Maybe Sally’s Boutique would have a pair of hole free shoes, doubtful. He knew that he could get some at the Hospital Thrift Store but wasn’t allowed there anymore. Not since he tried to slip that tie into his coat pocket. The ol’ bat chased him out with a broom. That tie would have been nice for Sunday services down at the Church of Christ on the corner. There was that good looking lady, the one who smelled good. She wouldn’t look twice; she was too busy trying to impress the pastor. Oh well, she had too much taste for him anyway. Yup, he was soured by life.

The salty sailor squinted into the horizon. He’d been too long to sea this time. He came back a couple months ago to bury his daughter. Nothing left here for him now. His only love that was left alive was the sea. She was as lively now as she ever was. He planned to rest there in the sea for good when his time came. He’d spent so much time at sea that anyone’d figure he had salt water in his veins. He’d left a beautiful wife who had enough taste to let him go to sea alone. He rarely saw his daughter as she grew, had to bury her though. The only life he had now was out there in the foamy white waves. They held just enough happiness for this salty sailor.

He was still so young but had seen a lifetime of sorrow. He grew up with an old man who couldn’t tell the difference between a cup o’ joe and a bottle of whiskey. He’d been there to see his momma beat a time or two too. She grew smart though and left before the old man could kill her. She didn’t have enough taste to take him with her. He got knocked around a bit now and then. Didn’t bother him though, he gave forgiveness when it was warranted. He refused to be affected by someone else’s illness. A person can’t live in this world feeling sorry for himself. If the good Lord intended for every field to be green, He wouldn’t have given us dirt. He refused to let life make him bitter.


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This article has been read 437 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 07/23/10
I liked how you showed people and their emotions as the taste of our tongues.

Just watch your punctuation, numbers like twenty-four should have a hyphen. In a sentence if you split it into two different thoughts use a semi-colon instead of a comma. These seem like simple things, but they can make your article easier to read.

You did a great job of making the topic your own and using creativity to get your point across.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 07/30/10
Congratulations for placing in the top 8 of your level.