Home Tour About What's New Help Forums Join Login My Account Shop
Save
Support
E
Book
Store
I
Need A
Savior
301
  

The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge

BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN

INSTRUCTIONS

how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level

ENTRIES

submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners



Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.





TRUST JESUS TODAY

TRY THE TEST



Share
how it works   Submit

Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Wow! (03/11/10)

TITLE: The Bequeathed Gold Pan
By AnneRene' Capp
03/14/10


 LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
 SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
 ADD TO MY FAVORITES

While living in Coloma, where the California Gold Rush of 1849 began, I had the privilege of meeting a modern day “old timer,” named Deed. He made his living, panning for gold, and refused the luxuries of electricity and running water.

We shared an unfenced property line and a one-mile dusty driveway easement, but it wasn’t until almost six months after settling into our new, older home, that Deed approached me, for the first time.

“Hey, Missy, (as he so nicknamed me), I need you ta try water witching fur me. You got the fair skin, red hair, and blue eyes that it takes to find water on my property. I know it’s there, but dag-nab-it, not even those high-priced well drillers with their fancy contraptions, can find it!”

Knowing Deed didn’t much care for newcomers invading his small corner of the world, I respectfully bantered in his lingo, as best I could.

“Well, Deed, lookin fur water usin twigs, is a form of divination and ‘cuz I walk in the wisdom to fear the Lord, I can’t help you there.

What I will do, is pray, that God reveals to me where your water is.”

“Now ya looky here Missy, my papa were a preacher, right here in this valley, so I knows all ‘bout that kinda hogwash and I’m a telling ya, water witchin works!”

“Ya, Deed, I honestly believe that, but it’s the power behind it workin, that I don’t want no part of. If your papa was a preacher, don’t you also believe in God’s written word?”

Grinning unabashedly, behind that yellowish-white, Yosemite Sam looking mustache, he chuckled, “Well, I’ll be darned, ya gots the same spitfire in ya, as my mama did, and yep, I does believe in God, just think witching fur water tis more scientific than people gives it credit fur.”

“Yeah, well, it aint gonna be me, attemptin to find out differently than what the Good Lord has showed me. But while we been standin here, chattin, I did pray ‘bout your water and I believe God showed me,” as I pointed to a spot on the sloped hillside, “it’s right over there beneath that red tipped clump of a half dead shrub.”

“Well, I’ll be a doggone fool! Ya done showed me the exact same spot my old friend, Red, found, when he done witched, fur me, but I didn’t believe ‘em!

Tell ya what I’m gonna do, Missy; soon as I can ford it, gonna get me a hand drill and go down as far as I can, to see if you be hearing from the Lord, like ya say ya do.”

Well, it took ‘ole Deed several months to follow up on that search for water, but when he did, I just knew, the entire Coloma valley heard him bellowing his excitement, “WOW-EE and HOT DIGGITY DAMN! I can’t near believe it; I done struck water after nearly six years a tryin!”

Shortly thereafter, Deed walked up my driveway, hollering, “Missy, I got somethin for ya.” As I opened my front door, I could see what looked like a giant Gold Pan in his hands.

“Howdy, Deed, what’s up?”

“Seeins how ya helped me find that water and all, want to give ya this gen-u-ine, metal gold pan. Now it’s not just any ‘ole gold pan neither, it’s one of a few I got and it’s a good one too. Ever been gold pannin?”

“Naw, haven’t tried it yet.”

“Well, it’s an art, an if ya don’t know what yur doin, yur never gonna find gold. I’m gonna take ya on down to the river and show ya the right way to pan. Now hop on up in the back of my jeep. I don’t go nowhere without my dog, and this is her spot, up here in front.”

Unable to decline his generous “on the spot” offer, I said, “No problem.” I lied and prayed the whole time I was climbing in, using the rear tire as a footstool; that I didn’t look like half the fool, I felt like.

Although I learned a great deal about the right way to pan for gold, I never did become an avid gold panner. Nope, I figured it best, to leave this old way of life to the last of the dwindling pros.

However…this Gold Pan became a prayer vehicle for me, to enter the throne room of God, many years later.





To be continued…The Gold Pan Odyssey


The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be right now. CLICK HERE

JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.


This article has been read 265 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Maryknoll Claveria Santos03/19/10
I truly enjoyed this one! Your use of words, phrases, and expressions is so authentic and natural. You kept me engaged all throughout. I admired your characterization of patient Deed ( waited six years, and finally struck water!) and Missy... I think she's real cool :) Great job.
Thanks.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 03/20/10
This is a charming story. I loved the dialect and can picture every detail you so vividly described.
Jan Ackerson 03/21/10
Charming story with lots of atmosphere and excellent characterization of Deed.

Would it be more effective, maybe, to have Deed be the only one speaking in dialect? And there were a few too many unnecessary commas.

Love the "salsa" word "Bequeathed" in the title--well done!
Amanda Brogan03/21/10
Fun story! I loved the "hill-billy" dialect. Goofy accents are always enjoyable. And I like the way the character stood her ground in her faith and still helped the old man with the Lord's assistance. Doing things God's way is always the best way. I look forward to the next installment of the story.
Ann Grover03/22/10
Engaging and creative.

(Red Ink: A few nasty, pesky commas showing up where they ain't wanted.)
Beth LaBuff 03/22/10
Oh… great way to set up a story! What a "colorful" character Deed is. I like the contrast between Missy and Deed. This story has a great voice!
stanley Bednarz 03/22/10
Call me a Simon Cowell Knock-off, but even without perfect mechanics, whoever wrote this has great writing instinct. It was SO REAL reading it. You got that something special going here.
Amen.
Loren T. Lowery 03/23/10
I, too enjoyed this story. It sounded authentic - as if it truly was an episode in your MC's life. I would liked to have seen the MC speaking in their own dialect and not mimicking Deed's - in that it might otherwise seem condescending. Loved the way you worked the gold pan into your story as a vehicle for prayer - so very, very clever and creative.
c clemons03/23/10
Very good.


   
© MeasurelessMedia. All rights reservedTerms of Service