The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
08/16/05
Interesting.
08/19/05
I thought this was a very creative approach to "sightseeing." Though a short piece, you did a good job descirbing both the caterpillar's and butterfly's view. One small thing that caught my eye was this sentence: "Seeing the sight of all this beauty" - it probably should read, "The sight of all this beauty," (leaving out the "seeing") No big deal, just something that jumped out at me.
Blessings, Lynda
08/19/05
Very good imagery. The pallet that you used should be the artist's 'palette', I think.
08/19/05
I never, ever would have thought of using the POV of a caterpillar/butterfly. Very original.
Very creative! I gave a little internal gasp when I figured out the cocoon (I even figured it out before you told me! hehe). :-) I liked it!
08/20/05
Great descriptions and very fun point of view!
08/20/05
You described your sightseeing beautifully, but I didn't "get it" until I read the comments. Now I see!! I would like to see you expand on the butterfly - maybe have it stretch its WINGS and fly so we slow folk could have a better chance of understanding:)
08/20/05
This is a very good out-of-the box viewpoint of "Sightseeing." I liked it. Wonderful imagery and descriptions.
Very creative! Shari, I love it. I agree with Lynda about the sight line (that jumped out at me too), but overall this is great fun and very original. I also agree with Crista that you could do more with it. More would be better, but a great start!
08/25/05
Ditto to all the above - what a great concept. Good job!