The Official Writing Challenge
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This is sad...but you leave the reader with curiousity and the possibility of hope.
09/05/08
Lucy definitely needed to talk with someone. Good story. Glad there's a hint of hope at the end.
09/08/08
I loved your ending... hope, true romance and tough love. Nice job.
09/09/08
Great take on the topic even though it focused more on truth. You had a lot to cover in just a few words! Watch grammar, and maybe put some physical breaks between each section of the piece. Good writing! :)
09/09/08
Very good story with just the right touch of both mystery and hope.
Very clear details - flu symptoms (nausea/vomiting), "you don't know what I'm going through", she COULDN'T tell the truth, her father a pastor, and her boyfriend finally "persuaded" her - sounds like pregnancy to me. At least the boy says they will work through this together, but no matter what, it will be a very difficult truth to confess. Hard truths here. :)
09/10/08
Good writing, but so sad that this is something that happens way too often.
09/10/08
I would love to read the exchange between Lucy and her parents. This could be a good starting talking point for a youth lesson!
09/10/08
This story has piqued my interest--I'd like to read more to know the characters better.

A few gammar and punctuation edits would really tighten this piece up.

I like the hanging ending--letting the reader use their own imagination.
I'm suspecting a pregnancy, but could be wrong. You gave just enough information to hold my interest. Nicely done.
09/10/08
You asked for a comment regarding how an editor/publisher might see it. I'm not one, but thinking of this as a premise for a book, I think you have good tension here--that draws a reader in. You've put a ton of material into these 750-odd words, so in a book form, this would of course stretch out to a few chapters, with more details about the MC's situation in life aside from this problem she's having. I think it would be good to explore the idea of making this a book.