The Official Writing Challenge
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The honesty and humility of the brother in this story, along with the sister's forgiveness, make them both endearing. I agree--PK's rule.
05/08/08
Really good story--I don't think I've read anything like that here on FW before.

A few things: "Me and my sister" should be "My sister and I", and you used "morale" for "moral". Finally, I'd have liked some indication earlier in the piece of the narrator's gender--I assumed it was a girl and was suprised to find out otherwise over halfway in.

Love the ending--very realistic and an authentic teenage voice.
Yea for the brother!

I love thie "assaulting it with her tears."

Gret job drawing the reader into the lives of teens. So glad he stuck up for his sister.

Keep up the good words.
05/11/08
This had a great message for us all. It had a good analogy to our wider mission (how often do we challenge untruths about our Lord?)

I think you could have shown us more of the events rather than told them.

Well done- this was a good piece.
05/15/08
Congratulations on your Highly Commended. Very good job with the topic.